Tips for Avoiding the Crazy Fashion-Obsessed Guy
The metrosexual man has been a member of our society ever since the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy team hit the streets in 2003. With their arrival, men all of a sudden had hair regimens and knew what the word non-comedogenic meant. (It means a product will not clog your pores.) Women did not know how to deal with this new man, but we all banded together and eventually began appreciating the new well-coiffed men in our lives.
But it seems the rise of men's street style and male fashion bloggers has opened old wounds.
Now men have hundreds of bloggers handing out "how to tie a tie" videos and "the perfect sock for your shoe" articles like candy. Instead of one team of well-meaning Queer Eye guys running the streets of America, there are thousands -- young, old, gay, straight, vegetarian, carnivorous -- of Instagram-armed so-called stylists.
Once again, women must find a way to filter through the fashion-obsessed dudes to get to the normal guy who just so happens to like a well-manicured mustache.
Here are a few red flags for the ladies out there looking to avoid the fashion-obsessed guy.
- The world stops if he can't find the right socks.
- Tie tying isn't a necessity, it's a way of life for him.
- Window shopping with his buds is a weekend activity... every weekend.
- He has a shoe budget that rivals some mortgages.
- He comments on your ensemble being too "matchy-matchy."
- Words like "sweatshirt," "tube sock" or "athletic jersey" are confusing to him.
- His Instagram feed is full of people taking pictures looking down to their shoes.
- He uses the hashtag #swag in relation to his new Calvin Klein undies.
- He has a Pinterest Board dedicated to the boutonniere, both dressy and casual, labeled simply "Boutonnieres I Love."
- He has a three-hour answer if you ask, "Who is your style icon?" with PowerPoint accompaniment.
- He lays out suggested clothing for you and none of it came from your closet.
- If you ever walk in on this on a Sunday afternoon, walk out:
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