Top 10 Worst Lists of 2012
Two thousand twelve may be remembered for many cultural highlights, royal obsessions, not surprising celebrity divorces, surprising celebrity divorces, election overload, unexplained deaths, the list goes on and on and on. And that's the thing about 2012; as horrific or insignificant as the event was, some blog somewhere turned it into list form and top ten'd it with somewhat similar items. Two thousand twelve was the year of the list! Two thousand eleven also had lot of lists and most likely 2013 will as well.
It doesn't take a brain surgeon to understand our current culture's recent fixation on lists. For the reader, lists are easier to digest; they categorize items for us, which seems to be a human need. They also give us something to cheer and jeer; for the lists we agree with we can feel validated, and for the lists we don't see eye-to-eye on, that's what comment sections are for.
For the Web sites and blogs that post the lists, their desire to do so is just as simple. Lists are fun to write and they get higher page views (now you know the secret!). But have we gone overboard on the lists? I have been known to write a number of pointless lists on this particular blog, some of which I am very proud of. It's hard to find nine other items that will go along with something as random as vending machine underwear.
There is no way the list will die in 2013, but I've found ten from 2012 that we would all be just fine not remembering.
This is a list of random quotes made by Jennifer Lawrence this past year. Okay. I like JLaw just fine. She seems like a normal person and I applaud her choice in roles, but I don't need a list of all the things she's said this year. This list is filled with neither profound commentary on life nor Jessica Simpson tuna fish-style proclamations. She just said some stuff; some of it's funny, I suppose.
9. Top 10 Everyday Things We Forget Listverse is a site completely dedicated to lists. To fill up an entire site of lists you need to come up with a lot of them, and many of them are completely dumb. Back in October they presented to us a valuable list about the top 10 everyday things we forget. The list includes things like flushing the toilet, taking out the trash and our moms' birthday. This list offers no solutions, it just points out the very obvious -- we forget stuff. Maybe we would remember our parents' anniversary if we weren't sitting around reading lists all day.
8. McSweenys -- Features I Demand in a Home After Watching HGTV House Hunters McSweeny's has been presenting ironic and pretentiously witty lists long before the Internet list craze, so they should be excluded from bad lists. But just because they have a higher IQ than we do doesn't mean they are immune to posting stupid lists. "Features I Demand in a Home After Watching HGTV House Hunters" is not a hipster/nerd list comparing Oliver Wendell Holmes poetry to quotes from Striptease at all; it's just a list of some shit somebody wants in his house. I think most of us have that one written.
I still don't understand what a peplum is.
This list should be Top 10 Buzzwords that should go away because what the hell is a "peplum?" Other words that make Time.com's "buzz word list" are "austerity" and "fiscal cliff," which are not buzz words, they are words created to scare Americans.
6. Ten Best Films of the 1890s The AV Club may have rightfully grown into one of the best culture sites on the Web, but every once in a while even the mighty can fall. Point of example is their list on the Best Films of the 1890s. How difficult was this post to concoct, guys? Movies were invented in the 1890s. Moving pictures, if you will, of the 1890s were titled names such as "Workers Leaving Factory," "Baby's Breakfast" and "The Sea" because that's all they were about. Movies of the 1890s were about as exciting as watching mold grow, which was also exciting in the 1890s. How can you even top 10 this list? This list must have come about from total boredom or late-night weed smoking.
5. John Waters's Favorite Films of 2012 I love John Waters as much as anybody who loves John Waters. Even before clicking this link, it is easy to assume that no one has seen 80 percent of the films Waters so adored this year. Thanks for the list.
The number one thing wrecking your sex life, according to mydailymoment.com, is "being grossed out." Yeah, I would say that if you are grossed out by sex or the person you are having it with, getting to it will prove quite difficult. But if you are grossed out or "embarrassed" (Number 4) about sex, you need more than a list to cure what ails you.
Cracked.com is nothing but lists, with the occasional list that looks like a blog post that's not a list. I stumbled upon this gem and was taken aback at its purpose. Firstly, who is this rapper that you think is so evil? Can you call him by name or would that make him appear in a mirror and kill your first-born? Secondly, the words "Friday and "Thanksgiving" are actually synonymous with things other than bad Internet music videos (I know! How weird!) One is a nationally celebrated holiday and the other is a nationally celebrated movie starting Ice Cube. Lastly, this list is not a list at all but rather a very, very long tirade about something that I chose not to read because I prefer to read everything in concise list form.
Forget year-end lists, let's pretend 2012 never happened and move right on to 2013. While we are daydreaming about all the glorious things that are going to happen to us in the coming year, the most important of all may just be anticipated hair trends. There's 44 of them and all of them are buns! I feel like I am eating crazy pills.
1. This list
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