Top 5 Farts in Video Game History with Video Evidence of He Who Dealt It
16th Century German peasants fart at the Pope while he holds a burning Bible.
Everyone farts. Even that virginal cheerleader you had the crush on in high school began her day with a triumphant blast of her trumpet. It's a fact of life as stinky and socially irrelevant as The Facts of Life, and to us modern hepcats we can't see anyone making a big deal out of it.
But (ha ha) farts have had an uphill climb to gain mainstream acceptance. George Carlin famously added the term to his trademark list of dirty words that you were not allowed to say on television, and for a long time he was right. There was little flatulence heard or discussed on network television. In 1957, an episode of Leave It to Beaver involved a heavy round of propriety discussion over just showing a toilet tank, so it's understandable that society has taken awhile to just enjoy a good fart. Nowadays farts are on rise, and even video games have gotten in on the act.
There's an age-old question about bears and whether or not they do their dirty, sinful bear business in the woods. That's a question for another time, but we can tell you without any doubt that a bear doesn't fart in the woods. In Street Fighter X Tekken, Kuma uses his picnic-basket powered toots as the final hit in his hyper combo.
In Super Smash Brothers, Wario's fart attack is not a joke. Half-charged it's super fast, and very powerful. We could've showed it to you in action, but we thought his introduction video sold it much better. Wario's Waft has been studied in more absolutely ridiculous detail than Obama's birth certificate, and here's a page to prove it.
The Fable series is all about what happens if you let players decide whether to be virtuous heroes or strutting bastards in need of a swift elbow to the jaw. Guess which one usually happens. Farting has been something you could do since day one, but Fable 3 made it powerful enough to knock the subject unconscious. This is considered an evil act, by the way, though we hope you knew that.
The Oddworld series really needs to come back, maybe on the 3DS where its puzzle interface would really shine. In addition to helpful abilities, Abe could also pass gas on command, which mostly did nothing except elicit a cheap laugh. As you can see in the video, though, dedicated fart strategists could set up situations for even greater comic effect, or even use them to kill their friends.
Open World Dance Foundation presents CINDERELLA
TicketsThu., Nov. 10, 7:30pm
Jersey Boys (Touring)
TicketsTue., Nov. 15, 7:30pm
The Legend of Zelda: Symphony of the Goddesses - Master Quest
TicketsFri., Nov. 18, 8:00pm
TicketsSat., Nov. 19, 7:00pm
Jeff Dunham: Perfectly Unbalanced Tour
TicketsThu., Dec. 1, 7:30pm
In Primal Rage, Chaos was the god of decay, and there hasn't been a filthier character since. His projectile weapon was vomit, and he used the Fart of Fury to launch a cloud of incapacitating gas. That's not even the horrible part. See, if you got hit with the gas, he got to beat you without retaliation, which means he was probably going to win. If he did win, you could be hit with the most disgusting fatality ever.
Best-case scenario, Chaos doesn't do anything to you but make you watch him puke, and re-ingest the vomit. If you were truly unfortunate he knocked you down and urinated a stream of acid of you. Seriously.
If you only ever played the SNES version, you never had to see that because Nintendo had Chaos's move set so censored it would've made more sense to just leave him out entirely. If you performed the input for the golden shower fatality, you got an actual censor symbol. This was a recurring problem with fighting games on the SNES. It was like dating the hottest girl in school, but she'd let you hit all the bases but never home plate.
Get the Theater Newsletter
Get a rundown of upcoming theater events and ticket deals in Houston.