Top Five: Worst Hollywood Storms

Hermine: As tropical storms go, she rates about a Twister
Hermine: As tropical storms go, she rates about a Twister

All this rain got you ready to curl up on the couch with a blanket and a movie? Steer clear of the following disasters. In honor (and in defiance) of Tropical Storm Hermine, these are the five worst storm movies of all time.

5. Storm

You can find this one in the 99-cent DVD bin at Walmart if you look hard enough. Luke Perry works for Martin Sheen and they control the weather. Perry's the good guy and has to stop a gigantic storm from destroying California. But without special effects to aid in watchability, Storm is utterly worthless.

4. Evan Almighty

Don't let the fact that Steve Carell is funny fool you, this movie is terrible. God is a sensitive environmentalist, and Carell is a no-good TV newscaster who helps save the world and learns about morals and environmental sensitivity. It's the Noah's Ark story, written by a progressive environmentalist, trying to be funny ... but failing completely.

3. Twister

The clip above is the only part of this movie worth watching. No need to ever rent it now.

2. 2012

When the end of the world actually goes down, hopefully all DVD copies of 2012 will be destroyed. Despite great acting by the cast of computer generated waves, when the end of days rolls around, it should be sentiment free. Fire, tidal waves, world war, but under no conditions is it okay to let John Cusack narrowly escape disaster and save his family. The least the filmmakers could have done is not make the ominous but kind-of-cool teaser trailer.

1. The Perfect Storm

George Clooney and Mark Wahlberg play fishermen who risk their lives in order to bring home a big catch of fish and sell it, so they can make their poor families happy and buy some cool stuff. BORING. The best actor in the movie is the computer generated gigantic wave that takes the boat down. Although the movie sucks, it'll make you glad you don't fish for a living.


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