Trailer Park: Fast & Furious 6 (Muffled Syllables)
Arrs inna cahr thas really farst
This past weekend during the Super Bowl, another teaser for Fast & Furious 6 was released to captive audiences. Starring Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, and Michelle Rodriguez, the film once again reteams the core group from the first Furious movie for another adventure on four wheels.
Seriously, someone from the studio should pay me for that exquisite line of copy.
The best part of the FF series has to be the title of each subsequent movie in the ongoing car opera.
We went from The Fast And The Furious, which sounded like a cool karate movie, but was really about cars and guns. 2 Fast 2 Furious, which was quick and 2 the point, letting viewers know it was a sequel.
The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift, just in time to capitalize on the drifting phenomenon, and of course, the Anglo-fixation on Tokyo. Fast & Furious, which was what most people called the movies anyway. Fast Five, very confusing, wasn't sure if this meant the furiousness of the first movies was being abandoned for only speed.
And now, Fast & Furious 6, which places no titular geographical boundaries on the film, and reminds us that, shit, they made six of these movies in the span of time that our country went to Iraq and Afghanistan and thousands of people died.
The trailer -- or extended look as they call these three minutes clips -- is full of screaming, guns, cars, planes blowing up and cars shooting out of planes, and some great one-liners. And Ludacris! The rapper!
Also, Vin Diesel's speaking voice has devolved into a mush-mouthed parade the likes of which that I haven't heard since Bob Dylan's Time Out Of Mind. Warning, you may need to speak Jive to understand him now.
There are also some choice exchanges, like:
The Rock: "It wasn't that hard to find you Toretto."
Vin Diesel: "I wasn't hiding."
Tyrese Gibson: "How do I smell baby oil?"
The Rock: "You keep running your pie hole, you're gonna be smelling an ass-kicking."
Vin Diesel: (sees party full half-naked women and fancy cars) "Arrr ravha dar."
Vin Diesel: (getting bullet wound treated by Paul Walker) "You gun do back home done. Even in they do."
But now I am just being silly. I will go see this because I love The Rock and will follow him anywhere. Just not into a dark room to see G.I. Joe: Retaliation.
Fast & Furious 6 hits theaters and your hearts on May 24, just in time for Memorial Day.
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