UPDATED: Who Still Jerks Off in a Porno Theater? Fred Willard Does, Apparently

UPDATE: Fred Willard has just been fired from a gig on PBS's Market Warriors and he is denying every claim by law enforcement, saying that the incident is a misunderstanding.

UPDATED: Who Still Jerks Off in a Porno Theater? Fred Willard Does, Apparently

Last night in Hollywood, actor Fred Willard was arrested for lewd conduct inside an adult movie theater. The funny man is somehow 72 years old, and I can only imagine his hilarious response to being caught jacking off inside a porno theater.

First thing: Since when are there still porno theaters? Two: Has Mr. Willard never heard of the Internet and the prodigious amount of pornography on it, and lastly: why not stay in the comfort of your own home and stroke it on down?

According to Reuters, police would not exactly detail the sort of conduct that went down, but TMZ says that he was caught with his pants down, literally, watching porn in public.

Now as a child of the '80s who didn't come of age sexually until the Internet was a big deal in the late '90s, I never had the pleasure of making a seedy trip to a porno theater. I knew they existed in Houston, mainly as those little booths in adult video shops. It still boggles my mind that in the late '90s, you could go to a theater the size of, say, the River Oaks Theatre to see the new Jenna Jameson flick.

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Obviously with the advent of computers, guys and girls could take the show home with them and make self-whoopee behind closed doors. Numerous times, all day if you want. You don't even need to get dressed or put on a disguise, unless you like to put on a wig and sunglasses to play with yourself. Is that a fetish, dressing up as someone else and doing that?

Anyway, I hope the best for Willard because he's a great comedic actor and we need him around, and not in jail. Hopefully someone in Hollywood can send him a laptop and a few passwords to the porn sites of his choosing so this doesn't happen again.


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