Who Wants to Marry a Texas Millionaire: Our Bachelor Predictions

Every once in a while, we pop on over to Craigslist to see what is going on in the world of community events, garage sales and free stuff. This inevitably leads to an hour and a half of time spent reading the Missed Connections and then, we usually find ourselves clicking through the job postings to see if our dream job of "television/bed tester" has been posted yet. Earlier this week, we found ourselves doing just that, and lucky we did, because we stumbled upon this little beauty:

We are looking for 12 dynamic ladies in our upcoming reality show for their chance to marry a Texas millionaire. We will be holding filmed auditions on September 24th, 25th at a conference room in Houston. We ask all contestants email 2-4 recent photos (i.e. a headshot, full body, seductive pose) and recent resume and tell us why they would like to participate in our production. Those selected will appear on a 12 week reality show in Texas that will offer them the opportunity to showcase their talents and skills and hopefully win the heart of our Texas Multi-millionaire bachelor. There are also luxury prizes for 2nd and 3rd place candidates. If you know or are a lady that is vivacious, out-going, and exhibitionist please have her email...

Well, yee-haw! A new reality show that will continue the trend of superficial gold-digging that has become so prevalent on our airwaves. But it's in Texas, so maybe it will be awesome?

We tried to contact the casting agents for the show, but since we did not send them seductive, full body shots of ourselves, they failed to reply.

There are a lot of millionaires in Texas (and we're not talking about these guys). In the 2010 list, compiled annually by Phoenix Marketing International, the Lone Star State ranked third for the number of millionaires in the country in terms of raw numbers, with 381,165 folks with at least $1 million in liquid assets. Dallas alone has over 70,000. Texas trails slightly behind New York (damn Yankees), with Los Angeles sweeping both states (damn Silicon Valley).

We can imagine the surplus of ladies signing up for their chance to marry a Texas sugar daddy, but what self-respecting millionaire would sign up for a reality show, especially one in which you publicly admit you need a date?

We did some digging and while there are many millionaires roaming around, the majority are married with children. We did find a few choice millionaire bachelors that we can imagine taking part in this show.

Bachelor Number 5: Timothy Headington

At the ripe age of 62, Headington grew his millions when he took over his father's oil company in the 1970s. But this man is not just your average tycoon, he is a lover of the arts! Headington has bankrolled ten movies including the Johnny Depp/Angelina Jolie vehicle The Tourist and Scorsese's The Departed and The Aviator. So, he's got some good taste. Single, friends with Leo DiCaprio and worth an estimated 2.7 billion, he sounds like a catch.

Bachelor Number 4: Scott Duncan

If you don't want to move out of H-town, then maybe Scott Duncan's your man. He's in his prime (late 20s), as a local pipe guy who assumed part control of his family fortune last year with the passing of his father, Dan Duncan. At one point, his dad was the richest man in Houston, so we imagine that Scott is used to the finer things in life. Hopefully, that means buying expensive gifts for his would-be bachelorettes.

Bachelor Number 3: Stone Cold Steve Austin

Who Wants to Marry a Texas Millionaire: Our Bachelor Predictions

Why not Steve Austin, a.k.a. Steven James Williams, a.k.a. "Stone Cold," a.k.a. Steven James Anderson? The wrestler was born in Victoria and now calls San Antonio home. Sure, Stone Cold hasn't been all that lucky in love. There was that whole alleged domestic abuse issue with former wife Diva Debra Marshall, who claimed that his aggression was caused by steroid use, but that was a long time ago. Since then, he has cleaned up his act. He was inducted into the WWE Hall of Fame, did a stint on the show Chuck and hosts a WWE reality series. Now, it's time for him to find the girl of his dreams.

Bachelor number 2: Charles Butt

That's a good-looking dude.
That's a good-looking dude.
Courtesy of Forbes Magazine

As far as we know, the multimillionaire San Antonian is on the market. True, he is in his early 70s and his last name is not the most desirable one for your children, but this guy is kind of awesome. Working his way up to fame and fortune from a bag-boy at his grandmother's supermarket, he knows the value of hard work and a good deal -- Charles is the CEO of H.E.B and Central Market. Girls, think of the savings on your supermarket bills...

Bachelor number 1: Andre Johnson

Who Wants to Marry a Texas Millionaire: Our Bachelor Predictions

There is nothing more appealing right now than a single sports celebrity, especially one who recently signed a $62 million contract with the Texans. All the single ladies put your hands up. Johnson may not technically be a native, but he has certainly become a part of the community. Upon entering the NFL, Andre started a foundation for Houston children from single-parent homes. He also signed on board with the Houston team for seven years, so he ain't going anywhere.

Potential Bachelor: Michael Brown

He's not technically single yet, but it's in the bag.

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