Le Ballon Rouge">

Wilfred: "Sacrifice" and Le Ballon Rouge

Marijuana shops. California truly is a land of wonder.
Marijuana shops. California truly is a land of wonder.

Ryan needs a change of scenery.

Wilfred's first season is winding down, and our protagonist is finally starting to chafe under the constant needs of not only Wilfred the man-dog (or Mog...hey, is he related to Barf from Spaceballs?) but Wilfred's owner Jenna, whose constant reliance upon Ryan has created a nifty little co-dependent relationship in sunny SoCal.

Thus is the concept of "sacrifice" laid out, embodied in Ryan's wanting to go rollerblading with Cinzia, the hot Italian girl with whom he strikes up a conversation on the beach. Who wouldn't? Unfortunately, Ryan has to go back to Jenna's and wait for the cable guy. Wilfred sympathizes, to a point, but still insists Ryan fulfill his obligations. Or as he puts it: "I'm sure the Roman soldiers wanted to hang out at the Pantheon and stare at tits all day. But they knew they had a duty: to kill Jesus."

Finally exhibiting some backbone, Ryan goes back to the beach and runs into Cinzia again. The two hit it off in ridiculously easy fashion, and spend the day together. The whole interlude has the feel of that scene in Naked Gun when Leslie Nielsen and Priscilla Presley are frolicking around.

Upcoming Events

Of course, my personality being what it is, I kept waiting for Cinzia to reveal she was a prostitute Wilfred hired, à la Clarence's boss in True Romance.

Experiencing something of an epiphany, Ryan decides to accompany his newfound soulmate to Italy. Wilfred isn't pleased, but his attitude softens somewhat when he (mistakenly) assumes Ryan will take him along, which would imply Cinzia wouldn't mind the companionship and Jenna would be cool with her dog going overseas without her.

Jenna reacts to the news poorly as well, freaking out before her new noon anchor gig and inadvertently eating Ryan's "Tootsie Pot" cannabis candy. This leads to the evening's best moments, as a stoned Jenna implores her co-anchor to feel how soft her tits are. To be fair, she's more entertaining than Dominique Sachse.

Of course she gets fired, and in the wake of that, Jenna's boyfriend Drew (Chris Klein) comes back to pick up the pieces. Wilfred wants Ryan to stay and serve as Jenna's lawyer if she decides to sue the station. Ryan resists, but after a dream in which he's visited by Le Ballon Rouge (Jesus, how many times did they make us watch that in elementary school?) and put on trial by multiple Wilfreds for, among other things, his shady past legal shenanigans.

Cinzia goes off without him, and things return to normal. Only without Ryan's TV, which he sold in a yard sale.

The idea that Ryan and Jenna are somehow destined for true love comes off a bit hollow, considering we already know (as seen in respect) she isn't a very good person. Ryan would easily have been happier with Cinzia, but a contented, Wilfred-less Ryan wouldn't be much of a show, would it?

Next week: The season finale. Could Ryan have been dreaming the entire thing? Nah, probably not.

And just for shits and giggles, here's some relevant Elton John:

Upcoming Events

Sponsor Content


All-access pass to the top stories, events and offers around town.

  • Top Stories


All-access pass to top stories, events and offers around town.

Sign Up >

No Thanks!

Remind Me Later >