rss Email Author Brian McManus


  • 2006 - Lone Star Awards, published November 10, 2005

    "Road Trip"

2005 Stories by Brian McManus

Archives: 2006 | 2005 | 2004 | 2003
  • Confessions of an Airbrushed Anglophile

    published December 15, 2005

    Throughout her ever-changing incarnations -- Material Girl, religious provocateur, dominatrix, crypt keeper -- one thing Madonna has remained is... More >>

  • Cave In, with Doomriders and Lorene Drive

    published December 15, 2005

    Chunklet magazine's indispensable and spot-on "Overrated Issue, pt II" is just the tool any discernable music aficionado needs this coming... More >>

  • Staind, P.O.D., Taproot

    published November 24, 2005

    Music as a profession is different. Accounting, doctoring, lawyering -- you have to be qualified to do those jobs. Meanwhile, any yahoo with stars... More >>

  • Road Trip

    published November 10, 2005

    My wife gave me two distinct, easy-to-follow rules before I shuffled out the door: "Don't cheat on me and don't die!" The cheating part would be a... More >>

  • Geddouddahere

    published August 18, 2005

    Well, dear reader, you know what they say. All good things must come to an end. Of course, all bad things must come to an end, too. And whether... More >>

  • He's a Maniac

    published August 11, 2005

    Lizzard's Pub (2715 Sackett) is nearly empty. We're here to enter the club's "White Boy Dance Contest," and as we bump through the front... More >>

  • Everybody Is a Starr

    published July 28, 2005

    Three men in matching pink V-necks and loose black ties begin their set by singing jovially in unison, "We're the Gaze, checkin' you out!" It's... More >>

  • Christmas in July

    published July 21, 2005

    Seventy-three bands for seven bucks. I'm far from being a math major, but even I can tell you that works out to 9.589 cents a band. All... More >>

  • Chefs Rule!

    published July 7, 2005

    Turns out, I didn't know much. I sat in culinary school listening to my chef instructor drone on about the seven "mother" sauces, sanitation and... More >>

  • Le Torture Chambre

    published July 7, 2005

    Think American kitchens have it bad? Think again. The French, granddaddies of fine cuisine they are, invented mistreatment. Stories abound about... More >>

  • Filthy McNasty

    published July 7, 2005

    "Oh…my…God!" I was busted. Not an hour into a steady, but hardly busy, midweek dinner service, my nemesis had spotted me. I was... More >>

  • The Flairest One of All

    published June 30, 2005

    "Hey, fuckers, you ready for me to give away some free fucking shit?" Rod Ryan, not bound by the constraints of the FCC, is making a point to the... More >>

  • Swan Balls

    published June 16, 2005

    Few figures in pop music are as divisive as Björk, that pint-sized Icelandic pixie princess with the Grand Canyon-size voice. Her fans border... More >>

  • You're Fired

    published June 9, 2005

    I'm busted. Not ten minutes into a trip to Boys and Girls Club, the newishly relocated smash hump-day DJ night, I'm spotted jotting down... More >>

  • Carrie On!

    published June 2, 2005

    I've made a New Year's resolution. When I masturbate, I'm no longer going to say 'Seacrest out' when I reach climax. -- Zach Galifianakis... More >>

  • Invasion of the Giant Cheeseburgers

    published May 26, 2005

    Is anything hipper than Midtown right now? Young studs in screen-printed button-ups waltz around its newly refurbished streets looking for action.... More >>

  • Mama Mia

    published May 19, 2005

    Alan Cole is dressed in a cowboy hat and long-sleeved button-up camo. His goatee is trimmed neatly. He's tall and thick, built like a brick... More >>

  • Sammy's Way

    published May 12, 2005

    Sammy Relford is killing the stage! His face, slick with sweat, is permanently locked in a passionate scowl as he scans the enthusiastic audience... More >>

  • There's No Place Like Home

    published May 5, 2005

    If you are dissatisfied with your server, feel free to tell her or him. If your food is not right, tell the cook. If you think we have poor... More >>

  • Good Vibrations

    published May 5, 2005

    I walk into a living room filled with nine young ladies. It could be a Tupperware party. But none of the girls here is interested in keeping the... More >>

  • Teenage Anarchy

    published April 28, 2005

    I'm guilty of it: grabbing hold of my pale and pimpled cheeks and spreading them just wide enough to release a wheelbarrow of critical dung on the... More >>

  • La Vie en Rose, Avec Juliette

    published April 21, 2005

    Before touching down in Paris, I'd considered faking a British accent when introduced to the locals. After all, being a pig -- an American from... More >>

  • Divorced from Reality

    published April 14, 2005

    "Harold" is having a great run. Just two weeks ago, on a trip to Austin, he ran into an old secret high school crush. Early in the evening they... More >>

  • Monsters of Hip

    published April 7, 2005

    A little background for the uninitiated -- Urban Outfitters (Galleria; also Rice Village) is a retail apparel and furnishings store. On the... More >>

  • A Room with a View

    published March 31, 2005

    Think you can't find a hotel room downtown for under $100 a night? Understandable, but wrong. Way wrong. In fact, you can have a bed to rest your... More >>

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