Email Author Craig Malisow

Awards

• 2012 - Maggies: The Magazine Awards of Western Publishing, published December 15, 2011

  "Down the Hatch"

• 2012 - Best of the West/First Amendment Funding, Inc., published December 15, 2011

  "Down the Hatch"

• 2011 - Best of the West/First Amendment Funding, Inc., published October 14, 2010

  "The Littlest People"

• 2011 - AAN AltWeekly Awards, published December 30, 2010

  "Prison Pays"

• 2011 - Lone Star Awards, published December 30, 2010

  "Prison Pays"

• 2011 - Lone Star Awards, published January 21, 2010

  "Net Gains and Losses"

• 2010 - Lone Star Awards, published January 29, 2009

  "BARC Sucks"

• 2010 - Lone Star Awards, published July 16, 2009

  "Cover Me"

• 2010 - First Amendment Awards/The Fort Worth Chapter of the Society of Professional Journalists, published December 3, 2009

  "Credit Repair"

• 2010 - First Amendment Awards/The Fort Worth Chapter of the Society of Professional Journalists, published July 16, 2009

  "Cover Me"

• 2010 - First Amendment Awards/The Fort Worth Chapter of the Society of Professional Journalists, published January 29, 2009

  "BARC Sucks"

• 2009 - Maggies: The Magazine Awards of Western Publishing, published July 17, 2008

  "Selling You"

• 2009 - AAN AltWeekly Awards, published July 17, 2008

  "Selling You"

• 2009 - First Amendment Awards/The Fort Worth Chapter of the Society of Professional Journalists, published July 17, 2008

  "Selling You"

• 2009 - Lone Star Awards, published September 18, 2008

  "Language Barrier"

• 2009 - Lone Star Awards, published July 17, 2008

  "Selling You"

• 2007 - AAN AltWeekly Awards, published June 8, 2006

  "The Plane Truth"

• 2007 - Lone Star Awards, published June 8, 2006

  "The Plane Truth"

• 2007 - Lone Star Awards, published September 21, 2006

  "Penal Violations"

• 2007 - Lone Star Awards, published February 2, 2006

  "Wize Guys"

• 2007 - Lone Star Awards, published June 15, 2006

  "Feel My Pain"

• 2006 - Katie Awards, published April 7, 2005

  "Exposed Nerve"

• 2006 - Maggies: The Magazine Awards of Western Publishing, published July 21, 2005

  "Dr. Nice"

• 2006 - Maggies: The Magazine Awards of Western Publishing, published April 7, 2005

  "Exposed Nerve"

More

2012 Stories by Craig Malisow

• 

  FEATURED STORY

  The Turkeys are Coming! The Turkeys are Coming!

  published Nov 19, 2012

  The Turkey of the Year is coming. You cannot run. You cannot hide. You can, however, guess who will be wearing the feathers this year. Lord knows there's no shortage of choices. Our technicians in t... More >>

• Bad Rap: California Group Won't Come Clean on Spindletop Dogs

  published Nov 19, 2012

  We continue to be disgusted and saddened by the continued silence of Spindletop Dog Refuge owner Leah Purcell, and her lawyer, Zandra Anderson, who refuse to disclose the fates of dogs that are still ... More >>

• Michael Vacker: Ex-Employee Says He Was Fired for Not Taking Clients to "Titty Bars"

  published Nov 19, 2012

  There seems to be a spate of strip-club-related lawsuits lately. This one has a bit of a twist: Salesman Michael Vackar is suing is former employer, Louisiana-based Superior Supply and Steel, saying h... More >>

• Wretched Owner of BlueHippo To Pay Back Texans He Ripped Off

  published Nov 16, 2012

  The Texas Attorney General's Office has announced an agreed judgment with the a-hole behind the BlueHippo uber-scam that defrauded consumers in Texas and across the country. The sole shareholder of t... More >>

• Brett Hartmann: Ex-Texans Punter Sues Reliant Owners Over Career-Threatening Injury

  published Nov 15, 2012

  Former Houston Texans punter Brett Hartmann is suing the owners of Reliant Stadium, and the company that provides the grass playing surface, for negligence in a career-threatening knee injury he susta... More >>

• Galveston Principal Busted in Adult Video Booth

  published Nov 15, 2012

  Okay, pervy teachers and school administrators need to pass a resolution at the next Texas Masturbators Local Union meeting: no more jerkin' it in adult video stores, no matter how strong the urge. Be... More >>

• An Open Letter to People I Un-Followed During the Election

  published November 15, 2012

  Political Animals An Open Letter to People I Un-Followed During the Election BY JEFF BALKE It's been a... More >>

• Finally -- an Interactive Exhibit of Third World Poverty!

  published Nov 13, 2012

  Screw Disneyworld: this year, Hair Balls is forgoing the traditional theme park experience to explore the sights and sounds of abject third world poverty at Houston Baptist University November 14-17. ... More >>

• Who Will Be 2012's Turkey of the Yearr Only the Shadow Knows. (Well, and Us, Too, Because We Wrote the Dang Thing.)

  published Nov 12, 2012

  Hair Balls had an amazing dream the other night -- one of the best dreams we had that didn't involve us having to immediately change the sheets. In the dream, we had no reason to do our annual Turkeys... More >>

• Weird-Ass Parental Rights Case Resolved: Judge Rules That Kids' Mom Is Legally Their, uh, Mom

  published Nov 09, 2012

  One of the strangest custody cases in memory has been resolved in favor of a biological mother of twins, whose father had argued that the woman was simply a surrogate and had no parental rights. Mar... More >>

• Judge to Rule on Whether Dude Is Sherman Hemsley's Half-Brother

  published Nov 09, 2012

  Hair Balls would've never guessed there'd be drama over the estate of the late Jeffersons star Sherman Hemsley, whose soul went to the de-luxe apartment in the sky last July. But that's just what hap... More >>

• YouTube's Daughter-Beatin' Judge Goes Back to the Bench

  published Nov 08, 2012

  Score one for Justice: Judge William "Beltin' Bill" Adams, who made history with a YouTube video showing him whipping his 16-year-old daughter for illegally downloading music, gets to return to the be... More >>

• Cover Story: Are You Human or Humanoidr

  published Nov 07, 2012

  You may not know this, but nearly half the world's population isn't human: they may look human, but they're another species called "humanoid." Humanoids don't have DNA like the rest of us; they have a... More >>

• 

  FEATURED STORY

  Devin Egolinsky: Hey, Let's Call 911 And Tell the Dispatcher He's a "Punk Bitch"!

  published Nov 06, 2012

  So the other day, we were thinking to ourselves, "Self, what is the stupidest thing you could do that no one has ever done beforer" We pondered for a while and hit on the jackpot: Call up 911 and scre... More >>

• Desperate Election Day Tactics: Mary Ann Perez's Campaign Sends Dumb Letter

  published Nov 06, 2012

  You know a political candidate is pretty desperate when their campaign releases an "open letter" to their rival on election day, accusing them of stealing campaign signs, without any proof. And that's... More >>

• 

  FEATURED STORY

  National Guardsmen Awarded $85 Million Over KBR's Negligence

  published Nov 05, 2012

  An Oregon federal jury awarded $85 million to 12 Oregon Nation Guard soldiers who were exposed to a toxic chemical while providing security for Kellogg, Brown and Root contractors at an Iraqi water tr... More >>

• 

  FEATURED STORY

  Billboards Say MLK Was GOP. Who Would've Thunk Itr

  published Nov 02, 2012

  Billboards in Austin proclaiming that Martin Luther King Jr. was a Republican are raising more than a few eyebrows. The billboard campaign was funded by Houston conservative activist Claver Kamau-Ima... More >>

• DPS: Truckload of Immigrants Was Speeding Straight Toward Schools

  published Nov 02, 2012

  The tale of the two suspected illegal Guatemalan immigrants killed by a DPS sharpshooter perched in a helicopter took a turn Thursday when the Department said the truck they were in was barreling towa... More >>

• 

  FEATURED STORY

  Some Hot Girl-on-Girl Training Videos for HPD's Undercover Treasures Squad (NSFW)

  published Nov 01, 2012

  We got a big kick out of KHOU investigative reporter Jeremy Rogalski's story on some of the questionable tactics undercover HPD vice cops have been using in the city's 100-year-war against titty-empor... More >>

• Robert Ramos Jr.: Ex-School Band Director Pleads Guilty to Child Porn Charges

  published Nov 01, 2012

  How do these freaks keep winding up at schoolsr A former middle school band director has pleaded guilty in Austin to producing and distributing child porn. Robert Ramos Jr., who's been in custody sinc... More >>

• 

  FEATURED STORY

  Yes, But How Do White Supremacists Celebrate Halloweenr

  published Oct 31, 2012

  Halloween is one of our favorite holidays here at Hair Balls, and we just love to see how different communities get into the spirit. Where better to learn about new ways to enjoy the holiday than whit... More >>

• Freak in Scream Mask Terrorizes Walmart

  published Oct 31, 2012

  Shopping at Walmart is supposed to be an activity of peace and serenity -- a moment where you can leave your troubles behind and explore aisle after aisle of majestically rolled-back prices. That tran... More >>

• Caution: Selling Your PlayStation to a Stranger at 2 a.m. Might Not Be a Good Idea

  published Oct 30, 2012

  It's a sad sign of the times when people aren't even able to sell their Sony PlayStations at 2 a.m. to some dude they found on Facebook without getting stabbed. But that's just what happened to a Cor... More >>

• Super Unleaded

  published November 1, 2012

  Highlights from Hair Balls We always see commercials... More >>

• ACLU Wants Answers in DPS Shooting of Unarmed Men From a Helicopter During Chase

  published Oct 26, 2012

  The ACLU of Texas wants state officials to investigate a Department of Public Safety sharpshooter's killing of two unarmed men during an intense chase Thursday in the Rio Grande Valley. The DPS agent... More >>