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2010 Stories by Jef With One F

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  • Arthur Yoria Hates "Happy Birthday"

    published Nov 04, 2010

    We sat down with Arthur Yoria to see what we could learn about the stoner-rocker in 30 seconds. Rocks Off: What is the worst song in the world? Arthur Yoria: "Happy Birthday." I don't like the chan... More >>

  • Clockpole: Making Baby Art Where Babies Come From
    FEATURED STORY

    Clockpole: Making Baby Art Where Babies Come From

    published Nov 03, 2010

    Rocks Off was spending a few minutes quietly relaxing on Facebook, having a soda, not bothering anyone at all, when we ran across a plea from Joe Ortiz of Clockpole asking if any women out there would... More >>

  • Tubby Chubcakes: Destroy Nickelback With Lasers!

    published Nov 02, 2010

    "Chad Kroeger rides a pony in his house when no one's home/ It's a fact! I hid cameras in his house." And thus begins the video for Tubby Chubcakes's "Destroy Nickelback With Laserbeams." When you f... More >>

  • $5 Awesome: The <em>Toys</em> Soundtrack
    FEATURED STORY

    $5 Awesome: The Toys Soundtrack

    published Nov 01, 2010

    Rocks Off has picked up some CDs over the years at prices so low we think that it would've been less insulting to the artists if we had stolen them. Some of these have become our favorite albums, and ... More >>

  • Rocks Off And Black Congress Bury The Hatchet
    FEATURED STORY

    Rocks Off And Black Congress Bury The Hatchet

    published Oct 29, 2010

    Let's drop the royal we. It's just Jef here, guys, and I'd like to talk to you for a moment. Much attention, and much more debate, has been given over to Black Congress's public withdrawal from this ... More >>

  • Faith And The Muse Invade Numbers For Live DVD
    FEATURED STORY

    Faith And The Muse Invade Numbers For Live DVD

    published Oct 29, 2010

    As far as we know, no full concert films have ever been shot at Numbers. Oh, Asmodeus X and Provision did some music videos, and some awesome footage of a Revolting Cocks performance has made the roun... More >>

  • Artists' Halloween Nuptials Spawn Collaboration

    published Oct 28, 2010

    There probably isn't a single goth in all of Houston who doesn't have one of Bret Harmeyer's paintings hanging somewhere in their house. And when he married his artist girlfriend Rachel last Halloween... More >>

  • Mission Accomplished: Your Buzzword Is My Band Name, Part 2
    FEATURED STORY

    Mission Accomplished: Your Buzzword Is My Band Name, Part 2

    published Oct 28, 2010

    We're getting closer to a midterm election that, more and more, is coming to resemble two dachshunds we had as a kid who would lose their little doggy minds over a chew toy and attack each other in a ... More >>

  • Based On Music Scene, Houston May Be U.S.'s 4th-Dumbest City

    published Oct 27, 2010

    Sooooo... The Daily Beast has compiled its second annual list of the dumbest cities in America. Houston came in fourth from last (out of 55), just ahead of our neighbors in San Antonio. The list is co... More >>

  • <em>Glee</em> Does <em>Rocky Horror</em> Proud
    FEATURED STORY

    Glee Does Rocky Horror Proud

    published Oct 27, 2010

    "A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away, God said, "Let there be lips. And there were lips. And they began to sing!" - The Audience Rocks Off will never forget the night we first heard a bunch... More >>

  • <strike>Five</strike> Four Musicians Who Practice Witchcraft
    FEATURED STORY

    Five Four Musicians Who Practice Witchcraft

    published Oct 27, 2010

    Gerald Gardner founded Wicca in the 1960s, though many claim the idea was originally thought up with assistance by Aleister Crowley. Regardless, the faith has become one of the most prominent neopagan... More >>

  • Five Ways Rock Stardom Is Like Your Boring Office Job
    FEATURED STORY

    Five Ways Rock Stardom Is Like Your Boring Office Job

    published Oct 26, 2010

    The Beach Boys are mired in a controversy resulting from accusations that they lip-synced at an Australian concert last Saturday. That just goes to prove something we've known all along. Namely, that ... More >>

  • Top Five Most Irritating Types Of Music Fans
    FEATURED STORY

    Top Five Most Irritating Types Of Music Fans

    published Oct 25, 2010

    Rocks Off will assume that we're all music fans here, m'kay? We just like the way the more melodic molecules feel when they gutter-ball into our eardrums. That's peachy, but there are those among us w... More >>

  • $5 Awesome: Murry Attaway's <em>In Thrall</em>
    FEATURED STORY

    $5 Awesome: Murry Attaway's In Thrall

    published Oct 25, 2010

    Rocks Off has picked up some CDs over the years at prices so low we think that it would've been less insulting to the artists if we had stolen them. Some of these have become our favorite albums, and ... More >>

  • Franz Liszt, Composer From Beyond The Grave
    FEATURED STORY

    Franz Liszt, Composer From Beyond The Grave

    published Oct 22, 2010

    Rocks Off is an avid collector of all things bizarre and occult. Some people draw their spiritual beliefs from The Bible, marveling at its miracles and lessons. For us, the holy text was Charles Berli... More >>

  • Papa Roach's Name Doesn't Bug Girls At All

    published Oct 22, 2010

    It's a well-known fact that most band names are essentially gobbledygook, but here at Rocks Off, we're trying hard to decode music's oddest monikers in order to find a little meaning. "Would you like... More >>

  • Black Congress Storms Out Of Ghoulsfest

    published Oct 21, 2010

    Earlier today, Black Congress said that the band would not be performing as previously scheduled at Ghoulsfest, Houston's newest music festival taking place at Pearland's Tom Bass Park next Saturday a... More >>

  • Cage Match: Werewolf Of London Vs. Purple People Eater
    FEATURED STORY

    Cage Match: Werewolf Of London Vs. Purple People Eater

    published Oct 21, 2010

    Ladies and gentlemen, it's been a while since we had a Cage Match. Our apologies, we couldn't find a band willing to take on Nickelback - really. Be that as it may, get yourselves ready for a special ... More >>

  • Lynyrd Skynyrd, Plane Crashes And The Fall Of Icarus

    published Oct 20, 2010

    The quicker us pick Icarus to be a stinker of a pilot, but anyone that near the sun ain't no shrinking violet. - Richard O'Brien, Ain't That to Die For Lynyrd Skynyrd, "What's Your Name" Today ma... More >>

  • ICP's "Echo Side": The Only Truly Spooky Rap Song Ever?

    published Oct 19, 2010

    Frequent visitors here will note that Rocks Off is not much of a rap guy... and Halloween is one of the reasons why. See, we grew up as rap and hip-hop did, and consequently we got to watch the genre ... More >>

  • Urban Dictionary's 11 Best Musical Definitions
    FEATURED STORY

    Urban Dictionary's 11 Best Musical Definitions

    published Oct 18, 2010

    Rocks Off's editor loves Urban Dictionary so much that he keeps hoping that a human/computer marriage amendment will somehow allow him to marry the Web site. He also uses it to argue with your humble ... More >>

  • Combichrist: <em>Making Monsters</em>, Racking Up Huge Bar Bills
    FEATURED STORY

    Combichrist: Making Monsters, Racking Up Huge Bar Bills

    published Oct 18, 2010

    Combichrist is one of those bands that you know just from the sheer number of T-shirts you see at Numbers on any given night. The aggressive synth act founded by Andy LePlegua is entering its seventh ... More >>

  • The 71's: God's Punk-Ass Kids
    FEATURED STORY

    The 71's: God's Punk-Ass Kids

    published Oct 15, 2010

    The 71's are a band that by all rights Rocks Off should be throwing rocks at instead of embracing warmly in our ear canals. Their rock is poppy, sincere, and inspired by faith in a God we want nothing... More >>

  • Five Ways We Have Screwed Over Other Bands

    published Oct 14, 2010

    In order to not implicate Rocks Off's more moral brethren and sistren here, I'm gonna drop the royal we, m'kay? The evil machinations mentioned hereafter are the work of one man with one F, and are no... More >>

  • Your Buzzword Is My Band Name, Part 1

    published Oct 13, 2010

    It's a Google-rific society we be a-living in, and the fastest way to notoriety is to coin a phrase that, when Guantanamo Bayed safely between quotation marks in a search field, will bring up endless ... More >>

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