Email Author John Nova Lomax

2011 Stories by John Nova Lomax

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  FEATURED STORY

  The Most Unbelievable East Texas Crime Ever

  published Apr 01, 2011

  Just when we think we'd seen it all, there comes a story like this one... If the events described in an indictment unsealed in Angelina County Court today are true, it's one of the most shockingly so... More >>

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  KUHF CEO John Proffitt Thinks You Are Stupid, Rejoices He Is No Republican

  published Mar 31, 2011

  KUHF CEO John Proffitt thinks you are a moron.Well, that's what you could say if you saw his Facebook page a little earlier this week.With NPR dealing with the fallout from its recent right-wing sneak... More >>

• Robert Alvarez: TV-Star Gang Cop Accused of Inmate Sex, Abuse of Power, Theft

  published Mar 30, 2011

  If the producers of the History Channel's documentary series Gangland are to be trusted, Edinburg police investigator Robert Alvarez was one of the top cops in the Rio Grande Valley. The 47-year-old w... More >>

• Mom and Grandma Busted After Doughnut-Spinning Truck Almost Leads to Trailer Park Tragedy Near Lufkin

  published Mar 29, 2011

  Keeping the kids happy while you're tying one on in the old trailer park can be a challenge. You can't run 'em down to Chuck E. Cheese because drunk driving with the kids in the car is a felony, so yo... More >>

• Robert Salyer: Attacks Stepdaughter's Boyfriend With Samurai Sword

  published Mar 28, 2011

  There are no tears in Robert Salyer's dojo. Neither does this 40-year-old Corpus Christi ninja tolerate domestic disturbances involving his stepdaughter and her boyfriend. Police there say that S... More >>

• Johnny Jolly: Troubled Packer, Former Aggie Busted Again for Purple Drank

  published Mar 25, 2011

  Johnny Jolly is in a heap of shit. With a 2008 felony drug case still unresolved, the former Texas A&M standout has added another today. The troubled Green Bay Packer defensive end was pulled over ju... More >>

• Santiago Martinez Jr.: The Wahoo King

  published Mar 25, 2011

  Urban Dictionary defines the term "wahoo" like this: "To approach the alcohol isle calmly, grab a case of beer and run the hell out like there's no tomorrow." San Antonio's Santiago Martinez Jr. is t... More >>

• Davon Stewart: Beery Melee Among Deaf Friends Ends in Gnawed Ear, Injured Leg, Flight from Cops

  published Mar 25, 2011

  Relatively few of us get into fistfights as adults, or get run over by trucks. Fewer still of us bite off a chunk of someone's ear or flee the cops in a wheelchair. In the history of mankind, perhap... More >>

• Word to Local Commies: Fear the Wrath of Khon

  published Mar 24, 2011

  I'll take "People With No Sense of Historical Perspective" for $500, Alex... That's about all you can say when you hear what happened yesterday at Khon's, a funky wine bar/art dive/darts hot-spot in ... More >>

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  FEATURED STORY

  Patricia Mancuso Janowski: $1.5M in Embezzled Funds Gambled Away in Quick-E Mart's Poker Machine, Police Say

  published Mar 24, 2011

  They might not be willing to admit, but you have to just know that the proprietors of the Klein Food Mart on Louetta Road just loved it when they would see Pat Janowski pull up in the strip mall parki... More >>

• Mario Dean Aguilar: Alleged Rapist of Disabled Man Also Commanded Dog to Attack

  published Mar 23, 2011

  According to a criminal complaint on file at Harris County District court, the goings-on at Mario Aguilar's house on Sarah's Lane were as horrific as the postindustrial east Houston/Northshore neighbo... More >>

• Houston 101: A Rare, Perhaps Unique Tale of a Human Killed by a Texas Alligator

  published Mar 22, 2011

  Over the weekend I took my son out to Brazos Bend State Park. That's him in the foreground of the photo after the jump, sitting on an embankment about ten feet away -- and four feet above -- an alliga... More >>

• An Even Crazier 4Loko Coming Soon from the Mexican Drug Cartels

  published Mar 22, 2011

  ... More >>

• Omar Pizano: Felony Charge After Police Claim He Was Drunk on Horseback

  published Mar 18, 2011

  Sure Omar Pizano is only 19 and thus (allegedly) drunk illegally at 6 a.m. Wednesday morning. But some would say he did the right thing when he had to go home. He set down his car keys and picked up t... More >>

• Austin Men Jailed After Skateboard-Whipping Photographer for Mohawk Shot

  published Mar 18, 2011

  You'd think Johnathan Washburn would dig it when strangers snapped his picture. After all, his unusual triple-Mohawk hairstyle seems like little more than a 24-7 "look-at-me" adornment, or possibly ev... More >>

• Drunken Wee-Hours Whataburger Drive-Thrus: A Proud Texas Tradition

  published Mar 18, 2011

  Shamefully, all too many of us have been there: out in the bars since happy hour, it's now a quarter-past closing time. We stagger to the car and suddenly remember we haven't eaten a thing other than ... More >>

• Robin Jeanette Jordan: Sole Arrest So Far in Raid on Fort Bend Cul-de-Sac Cathouse

  published Mar 17, 2011

  Apparently, pecans weren't the only nuts hanging in the Richmond, Texas suburb of Pecan Grove. Authorities based both there and here in Houston say that 37-year-old Robin Jeanette Jordan, a.k.a. "Li... More >>

• Doug Supernaw: Yet More Sad News for Troubled Former Country Star

  published Mar 17, 2011

  UPDATE: Since writing this article, we've discovered what very much looks like Doug Supernaw's real Facebook page. You can assess his state of mind for yourself here. About three weeks ago, we re... More >>

• LaShwanda Allen: Four Loko-Addled Toddler Brings Child Endangerment Charge

  published Mar 17, 2011

  If you really, really must drink Four Loko, keep that high-alcohol crap away from your kids. On the afternoon of February 21, police were dispatched to a ramshackle apartment complex on Yale near the... More >>

• Earline Garcia: Attempted Petty Orajel Theft Leads to Felony After Employee Narrowly Escapes Getting Run Over

  published Mar 17, 2011

  Come on, people. Do we really need to give you a refresher course on how to shopliftr Apparently so. 1. If you really have to steal stuff, keep the value of the items you swipe under $50. That way, i... More >>

• Mud Flies in West U City Council Election; Incumbent George Boehme Accused of Drunkenness

  published Mar 16, 2011

  It's election season in West University Place, and in the race for city council, shit just got real. In one corner, there's incumbent George Boehme, a sometime restaurateur, amateur Negro Leagues hi... More >>

• Pedro Mendez: Convicted Cockfighter Now Accused Child Molester

  published Mar 15, 2011

  What's next in the criminal career of Pedro Mendezr The 56-year-old Nacogdoches man seems to be hell-bent on checking off every box in the "most odious crimes" category of human endeavor. Not ten mo... More >>

• Vernon Lee Ahrenhoersterbaeumer: Frying Pan Family Feud Lands Giant Man with Giant Name in Jail

  published Mar 15, 2011

  Word to the wise: steer clear of Ahrenhoersterbaeumer family gatherings. Those hosted by the East Texas branch of the polysyllabic Germanic-American family might just turn violent, at least if last Th... More >>

• Facebook Lyrics Fail: Citing Eazy-E in Front of Family Is Unwise

  published Mar 11, 2011

  So we were perusing the page of this girl Bethanie Russell, a Bacliff ne'er-do-well recently busted down on the Island rolling around in a car that didn't belong to her. On her public wall, we found ... More >>

• Gabrielle Giffords: Docs Say Progress Amazing, Though Shuttle Launch Trip No Done Deal

  published Mar 11, 2011

  U.S. Rep Gabrielle Giffords has her personality back, is speaking in full sentences and has made continuous neurological improvement, her team of TIRR Memorial Hermann doctors said at a news conferenc... More >>