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Best Catfish

Goode Co. Seafood

The twisted, splintery logs stacked in a pile behind Goode Co. Seafood right next to the barbecue pits are a good omen. Just in case anyone was worried, there will be mesquite-smoked catfish tonight. In a day and age where catfish just isn't considered any way but coated with flour or cornmeal and deep-fried, the mesquite-grilled catfish ($11.95) is a low-calorie, heart-healthy alternative that rivals its fried counterpart in the best department: taste. The eight-ounce fillet, intensely smoked for 15 minutes, has been a favorite on the menu since the railcar-turned-restaurant started serving it 16 years ago. It's best with just a squeeze of lemon, and it comes with a seafood empanada and a choice of side dishes that includes red beans, red beans and rice, french fries or vegetable of the day.

Best Steak Dinner for Two for 20 Bucks

PJ's Sports Bar

Finding a cheap steak dinner can be dicey -- if the price is right, the meal usually isn't. Small tough cuts of meat that have been sitting under a warming light for an hour or so ain't a bargain, no matter how inexpensive they might be. PJ's Sports Bar, on West Gray between Taft and Montrose, has a more appetizing alternative. Every Thursday is Steak Night at the bar, and the menu is straightforward: two steaks, two salads, two baked potatoes and a pitcher of beer, all for $20. P.J. Mastro himself barbecues the nicely sized steaks. There's nothing fancy here -- the bar is small and low-key, and the decorations consist mainly of promotional posters from beer companies -- but the food's good and so's the company. What more do you want for 20 bucks?

Best Vietnamese Sandwic

Best Club Sandwich

Express Deli

'Tis a monstrous thing, this double-decker piled high and sliced in substantial halves, not those traditional quarters. That single diagonal cut, though, is as far as Express Deli, the all-purpose lunch counter-grocery on the ground floor of Houston House apartments, strays toward the experimental. Sure, you can choose your cheese and take it on toasted white or wheat, but the time-honored recipe has little room for variation from the standard stacks of turkey, ham, lettuce, tomato and bacon, with mayo, thanks. And there, in that structural stability, lies its continuing value as comfort food. Few clubs are as comfortable as Express Deli's -- might have something to do with counter guys who remember your name after you've ordered just once. Long may it stand.

Best Curried Goat

Sheshahnen

The $5.99 lunch buffet at this Pakistani hangout is an incredible bargain. The zesty curried goat features the softest goat meat you've ever eaten. Pakistani curry is spicy and much more exciting than most Indian versions. There also are plenty of chicken, beef and vegetable dishes on the buffet along with a great saag paneer and a steady supply of fresh-baked nan. The restaurant that occupied this space before Sheshahnen must have done quite a bar business, because the bar is the most elaborate and interesting part of the restaurant. But Pakistanis don't drink. That doesn't stop them from sitting around the bar, though, which makes for a funny scene. Men in white pillbox hats sit on barstools drinking tea and arguing in Urdu at a huge bar without any liquor. Sheshahnen's lunch buffet is served Tuesday through Friday from 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. The dinner buffet is $7.99, and Sunday brunch is $6.99.

Best Fried Chicken

Frenchy's Chicken

Time, an endless river, rolls along, as does the channelized stream of Brays Bayou, a few blocks south of Frenchy's Chicken. But this family-run operation just keeps on keepin' on. Opened in 1969 by Louisiana native Frenchy Cruzot, this small 99 percent takeout spot (a few metal tables are set out for those who have to have their chicken right now) is still doing what it has always done to perfection. There is only one kind of fried chicken, deep-fried in a spicy batter that never seems to drip with grease the way those chain operations' chicken often does. Sides are of the sort that God intended folks to consume with his yard birds: greens, red beans and rice, dirty rice and jambalaya. Located a few blocks west of the large campus of the University of Houston, the spot has fed generations of students attempting to find an alternative to cafeteria meals on such items as the "three-piece campus special" (three pieces of fried chicken, one white and two dark, a pickled jalapeño, a biscuit or a corn bread muffin, french fries and dirty rice for $4.09, plus tax). The last truly outstanding aspect of this Third Ward institution is the hours -- 10:30 a.m. until 1 a.m. Sunday through Thursday, and 10:30 a.m. until 3 a.m. on Friday and Saturday nights.

Best Iced Tea

Kaldi Cafe

Iced tea is a gracious beverage. It hints of endless refills and an infinity of time, and it's the right thing to drink at funky, laid-back Kaldi Cafe, where no one is ever in a hurry. Kaldi offers tea drinkers a nifty selection of flavors du jour -- ginger-peach, say, or herbal mint -- and because you fetch your own refills, you don't even have to feel guilty about abusing your waiter as you drain glass after glass.

Best Martini

The Twister, The Remington Grill

In our ardent quest for Houston's best martini, we asked several bartenders to define the drink. Of course, each gave us a different answer -- and all were correct. While there are some definite guidelines, a single definition does not exist. A generation ago, a martini was as cut-and-dry as its taste: gin and vermouth, shaken or stirred. A generation ago, Houston's highbrows were consuming the classic cocktail among their peers at places like The Remington Hotel. Flash forward to Y2K. Same locale. New hotel. Way different drink. The Remington has become The St. Regis, and inside The St. Regis lies The Remington Grill. In the center of the restaurant lies the bar, and at the center of the bar lies the crystal jar. Inside the jar is the delicately smooth Ketel One vodka. Suspended within the quadruple-distilled Dutch liquor is a single pineapple, peeled and cored, infusing its sweetness into the wheat-based vodka. Let renowned bartender Harry Spitzer create his Twister for you. He starts with a generous pour of his infusion into an ice-filled shaker, followed by a dash of margarita mix. After a vigorous shake, he pours the concoction into a frozen martini glass. And for those of you who've endured the first harsh sips of a martini, the Twister proves it doesn't have to be that way. Instead, you'll bliss out on the thin top layer of sweet, creamy froth and be drawn down into the citrus-clouded Ketel One that beckons below. Don't be deceived by its tropical taste, however. The Twister has the strength of a Category Five.

Best New York Deli Sandwich

Kahn's Deli

Weighing in at slightly less than a pound, the Reuben ($6.99) at Kahn's Deli is a delicious way to exercise jaw muscles. It's a jungle of pungent sauerkraut, piles of corned beef and a thick layer of melted Swiss cheese that makes one wonder if any human can open their mouth wide enough to get a traditional bite. The Russian dressing is made fresh every morning using an old family recipe, and it's not spread on so thickly that the freshly baked rye bread gets soggy. (Unused bread is donated to a church to feed the hungry at the end of each day, so customers never get day-old bread.) Owner Mike Kahn got the recipe for the Russian dressing and the rye bread from his father, Alfred Kahn, the namesake of Alfred's Deli, which closed in 1994 after Alfred's death. They are continuing the family tradition, serving the same hefty, tasty and wonderfully messy Reuben.

Best Poor Boy

La Tapatia Taqueria Mexican Cafe

La Tapatia Taqueria's poor boys are practically an entire Mexican meal between two fresh buns. Along with a belt-bustingly generous serving of one of 12 meats or a veggie, the sandwich is smeared with refried beans and sour cream. It also includes slippery avocado slices (which sometimes escape the sandwich when you're taking a big bite), lettuce and tomatoes. Shredded cheese is 25 cents extra. Some places like to skimp on shrimp. Not La Tapatia. The shrimp poor boy is loaded with medium shrimp that are cooked to where they're still firm and juicy, not soggy. The pastor (marinated pork) poor boy is similarly loaded, and its sweet-hot marinade makes the cooked-till-falling-apart pork a taste to remember. Other meats include chicken breast, beef, lean pork, barbecue, beef brains, lean breaded meat, goat, beef tongue and ham. And these poor boys won't plunder your pocketbook. The shrimp and chicken breast sandwiches are $3.75; the rest cost $2.70. True poor-boy prices.

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