Best Vintage Houston Personality (2005)

Marvin Zindler

There's not a Houstonian alive who doesn't know this human oddity's name and freakish visage. To a Houston transplant, the first Zindler sighting is one of those occasions where you question reality, the existence of a fair and merciful God, and your eyesight. Could that dude really look like that? Was he in The Dark Crystal? What's going on behind those outrageous blue shades? Does he have eyeballs? Is he really that tan? Does he smell like formaldehyde? You're frozen, watching this refugee from Ripley's help a little old lady from Pasadena get free denture cream or something. And then, before you know it, it happens: the crude graphics signaling something this 82-year-old shrieking banshee calls "The Big S." "What did they have? All together, gang: SLIME IN THE ICE MACHINE!" After all these years, it's still the best thing on television, and we can only hope Zindler's into cryogenics, because we want his re-(re-?)animated corpse delivering these reports forever.
Readers' choice: Marvin Zindler

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