Best Regular Public Speaker at City Council Meetings (2007)

Senator Robert Horton

Unless he's throwing eggs at them, Senator Robert Horton is generally ignored by City Council members, who are so used to his cryptic mutterings that there's no novelty left to them. To wit, an entry from one council meeting reads: "Senator Robert Horton...appeared and stated that he was God and continued expressing his personal opinions until his time expired." The Senator generally sits quietly in a front-row bench at each council meeting, patiently awaiting his turn to address the officials in his capacity as Senator of the World. He had some stiff competition for this category, what with a man named President Joseph Charles of Royalty, who regularly asks the council for travel expenses to cover his visits with the Queen of England. But Horton wins by a nose, thanks to his decision to throw eggs at council members on two separate occasions, ensuring his immortality on YouTube. So even if City Council won't recognize you, Senator, the Press will.


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