Sliding down the handrail at Edwards Greenway Palace 24
Speed, man. There's nothing more exhilarating. But speed can get expensive: Mustangs, motorcycles, meth -- that stuff adds up! So instead of saddling yourself with more debt (or, God forbid, another nasty addiction), head to Edwards cinema on Weslayan. You don't even have to buy a ticket to ride the theater's outrageous length of fat metal rails into oblivion. Divided into three levels of 16 stairs each, the wide, psychedelically carpeted staircase is adorned with bars set perfectly at hip level. Just throw half of your butt over, take a deep breath, and hope for the best. Wear long pants and sturdy shoes -- here, the landing's the thing -- and keep an eye out for Johnny Law at the bottom.