Anything's Possible in the Fantasy World of the Astros

Richard Connelly says that John Lopez may be departing the Chron to work full-time on radio. I would say that it is a good thing. The Chron would be better off with one less hack taking up valuable print space. But knowing the Chron , his spot would be filled by my buddy Jesus Ortiz. And Ortiz makes Lopez look like a Pulitzer Prize winner.

Enough of that. On with the Astros. (Yes, we have to. That’s my role here.)

Jason Jennings pitched last night. You should know what that means by now.

The Astros lost.

Again.

The final score was 7-0. Jennings managed to last four innings while giving up seven hits, six runs and two homers. And his ERA’s only 6.45. How’s that little off-season move looking now Drayton?

And who would’ve guessed it? After being given several million chances by the Astros, Tim Redding returned to MMP to haunt his former employer, going seven innings while surrendering only six hits.

So the Astros started a ten-game home stand where they had to win to stay in the race (which they never really were) and didn’t bother to show up.

But there is some good news. My man-crush Hunter Pence might be available to play tonight. And that might lead to some more good news: no more Jason Lane.

There are 37 games left in this miserable season. With a record of 56-69, the Astros need to go 25-12 to reach .500. Come on now, stop laughing. It’s possible. Kind of. Maybe. Just like it’s possible Ashley Judd could leave her husband for me.

Anything’s possible in fantasy world.

Anything.

Except for the Astros reaching .500 and/or the playoffs. – John Royal


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