Bidge on a Budget
Houston baseball fans, relax. We know you've been on the edge of your seats, wondering if the 2007 season might not provide the opportunity to experience the heartwarming and longstanding Astro tradition of watching an old white guy try to hang on at his position.
Jeff Bagwell's gone for good (with a hearty corporate kick in the ass as thanks). Roger Clemens might not come back for yet another pampered half-year of five-inning appearances. If the Astros couldn't come to terms with Craig Biggio, well, 2007 might have actually become a season of age-proportionate baseball in Houston. Where would be the fun of hearing aging bones creak, of watching opponents' routine grounders turn into singles, of seeing the old guys give glaring looks to younger teammates who couldn't cover two positions at once?
Fear not. The Astros have forked over some dough, and Craig Biggio has realized he wasn't likely to be overwhelmed with offers from other teams. For $5.15 million, he will pursue his chase of 3,000 career hits at Minute Maid. We hope it's more exciting than his chase of the all-time record for getting hit by pitches.
Get ready for the fawning profiles, the "We Luv U Craig" signs, the breathless countdown of the 70 hits he needs to reach 3K. And get ready for all the defensive mobility and range that a 41-year-old can provide, as Chris Burke sits on the bench. -- Richard Connelly