Houston Roller Derby... Sunday! Sunday! Sunday!

Are you sick of reading about racist umpires? Are you sick of the suckitude of the Houston Astros? Are you tired of John McLain’s latest platitudes about the Texans?

Daniel Kramer

Well, I know of a little something that might improve your attitude. Houston Roller Derby has a couple of matches come Sunday at the Verizon Theater.

I’m going to be honest. I don’t know anything about Roller Derby. Except that Raquel Welch looked very hot in that tight 1970s-era uniform she wore in some bad movie. (Did she make anything besides bad movies?)

I know this roller derby’s a little different from the one portrayed on film by Ms. Welch. Like these ladies don’t skate for money – they don’t get paid for competing. They skate on a flat track, not one that is banked. They wear fishnets and have tattoos. They supposedly like to fight.

I don’t know about you, but this sounds like fun to me.

Sunday night’s match-ups are known as the August Assault. All four Houston Roller Derby squads will take part, and the two winning teams will advance to the October Championship Cup competition for the best team in Houston.

The doors to the Verizon open at 5:00 on Sunday afternoon, with the first match scheduled for 6:00. Tickets at the door cost $15.00.

I, for one, plan on being there. I look forward to seeing the rest of you. – John Royal

Editor’s note: You can click here to read “Roller Grrrls,” here to look at a slideshow and here to vote for your favorite skaters.

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