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Peyton Manning Takes a Break from Shooting Commericals, Takes Down the Texans

I happened to be in attendance at yesterday’s Texans/Colts game – the restraining order only prevents me from being near the Chron writers, and those guys aren’t going to get anywhere near the fans. I’ve been reading stuff about moral victory and the team earning respect.

I don’t buy it.

First, while the Texans lost 30-24, at one point in the fourth quarter the score was 27-10. I saw a team that was down by 13 points with six minutes left and not running a hurry-up offense. I saw a team having to rely on Samkon Gado – where’s Wali Lundy when you need him? Gary Kubiak didn’t impress me with his play calling, or his clock management, and maybe he shouldn’t have wasted that replay challenge on a pass that I could tell from my seats in Siberia was intercepted.

And as long as the Texans keep wasting the final two minutes of the first half like they did yesterday, this team’s never going to amount to anything. That’s the way Dom Capers played it, no chances. And you don’t beat the Colts by not taking chances.

What I saw was Peyton Manning playing the role of the puppet master. The Texans defense was no match for Manning, and if rookie Anthony Gonzalez could’ve held on to some passes, the Colts would’ve been putting four guys in the Texans secondary with the ability to break a big play. And if Marvin Harrison hangs on to a Manning pass in the end zone, then the Texans would’ve been down by even more points.

The Texans offense was not impressive. Yes, I know, Andre Johnson was injured, and that Ahman Green was injured early in the game – and isn’t that a shocking surprise – but even before his injury, the Texans only form of offense came by way of a Jerome Mathis kick return.

I just got the feeling, while watching the game, that Peyton Manning was playing at half-speed, and that if he would’ve wanted the Colts could’ve easily put up about 30 points in the first half alone. I wonder if the Texans defense has discovered that Dallas Clark was able to roam virtually unchecked about the middle of the field. What I’m trying to say is that while the score looked close, it sure looked like Manning could’ve turned it into a blow-out if he would’ve really wanted.

Speaking of which, hey, defense, it’s called a blitz. You might want to give it a chance every now and then, especially if you’re going to continue playing Mario Williams.

And I’ve got a few other comments.

Hey, Texans entertainment crew, when you’ve got a player down on the field, and he’s not moving. And then they’re bringing out the stretcher, how about turning off the music and the video boards? Is that too much to ask?

And while you’re at it, how about some new music already? Blur’s “Song 2,” Ozzie’s “Crazy Train,” and AC/DC’s “Thunderstruck” and “TNT” were old and used up a decade ago. How about playing a little something from this century. I’m surprised I didn’t hear “Sledgehammer,” “Pump It Up,” and “We Will Rock You.”

And you, Mr. P.A. Guy, how about shutting up every now and then? God, you’re loud and obnoxious. Here’s a hint, if the referee’s speaking, then you should be quiet.

Oh, Texans, if you have to keep telling the fans how important home field is, and how you need them to make lots and lots of noise, then the fans aren’t great and you don’t really have a home field advantage. The six guys in front of me spent more time throwing spitwads into their pals’ beers than watching the game. And I was surrounded by people in Peyton Manning jerseys. And speaking of the fans, when the offense is trying to pull off a crucial play and communication is necessary, that’s not the best time to break into a loud cheer.

I did have one shocking discovery in my first game ever inside of Reliant – the food prices were cheaper than at MMP. It only cost me an arm for a hot dog and a coke, not the arm and leg I’m used to.

After this game, all that I’ve got to say is that it’s a good thing the Texans have the awful Falcons and Dolphins coming up on the schedule. I’d hate to have to see them play another good team. – John Royal


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