Re: Re: Dissecting the Dirty Dozen

Last time these guys won anything...

So, I turn my back for one day and I find this, wherein (cough) Notre Dame fan (cough) Rich Connelly has taken issue with my belief that the Texas Longhorns will win the Big 12 football championship.

Connelly seems to believe that the Horns will revert to form this year, that the last year and a half was a mere VY-inspired "blip," as he put it. But hey, that "blip" is still fresh on UT radar, unlike the last time the Irish won anything of note.

You wanna know about blips, Rich? I'll tell you about blips. It'll be a blip the next time Notre Dame wins a bowl game, which as I am sure you will remember, they have failed to accomplish in the last eight consecutive trips. Over that span, they have been walloped by everyone from perennial powers Ohio State, LSU, and Florida State to North Carolina State, the second-best football program in a basketball state. And oh yeah, they were pimp-smacked not once but twice by the mighty Beavers of Oregon State.

...Whitney wasn't on the pipe.

Pitiful. The last time the Irish triumphed was the 1993 Cotton Bowl, when they squeaked by R.C. Slocum's Fightin' Texas Aggies 24-21.

That was a long time ago, folks. George Herbert Walker Bush was still in office. Our army was a month into its Somalian adventure. Home Alone 2: Lost in New York and Wayne's World were the talk of the multiplexes. Barney, Mad About You and The Larry Sanders Show had just debuted on TV. The pop charts were dominated by songs so old they are now the dorkiest of the dorky staples at the most drunken moments of receptions for old people's second weddings: stuff like "Baby Got Back" and "I'm Too Sexy."

Hell, the last time Notre Dame won a bowl game, Mariah wasn't crazy and Whitney wasn't a crackhead. And that was a long-ass time ago. — John Nova Lomax


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