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Steroids and Roger Clemens, or Why Jose Canseco Is Kind of Like a Republican

Famed literary genius Jose Canseco has a new book coming out next week. I’m still awaiting my review copy, so I can’t say much about the book. But I can comment on some of the things Mr. Canseco writes.

Those who have seen copies of the book state that Canseco claims Detroit Tigers outfielder Magglio Ordonez takes steroids, as does New York Yankee third baseman Alex Rodriguez. Canseco also addresses the Rocket matter again, and once again, according to what he writes in the book, he says Rocket did use HGH and steroids.

There are, of course, a few problems with these claims.

Magglio Ordonez says that Jose Canseco is trying to blackmail him, and that Canseco came to him several months ago requesting money to finance a movie, and that if Ordonez did not part with the money, Canseco would name him in the book. So I’m guessing Ordonez didn’t pay off Canseco.

As to the Rocket, well, let’s just say that Canseco is already changing his story. Last night on Nightline Canseco said he didn’t believe that Clemens used steroids. So am I the only one who thinks Canseco is just pulling all of this out of his ass?

Plus there’s the fact that Canseco presents no evidence for any of his claims. He claims to have set Rodriguez up with a trainer who would supply Rodriguez with steroids. But when pressed for the identity of this person, or for any evidence, he refuses to do so, telling Nightline, “The timing's not right now….We'll keep him out of it until the time is proper.”

I don’t know, but if I’m naming someone as a steroids user, I think the proper time for providing evidence would be when the book comes out. I wonder if this is the reason that Canseco’s original co-author for this tome backed out.

Let’s just say that this time out, I’m not quite buying what Canseco’s selling.

And speaking of not buying what I’m supposed to be buying, the Republicans on the Congressional steroids panel released their own report the other day. And let’s just say they’re actually kind of buying into Rocket’s story. The primary thing that they seem to stick on is that damn barbecue of Canseco’s. The Republicans even went out and talked to some more witnesses that Rocket suggested they speak with, and, guess what: Those witnesses say that Rocket was not at the party. I guess it doesn’t matter that Rocket actually says he was there. And never mind there’s a photo of Rocket at the party. And after the hearings, Rocket continued with his witness-tampering as his investigators went back and talked to the Nanny, and the Nanny says she doesn’t recall Rocket being at the party, and big reveal, she’s too shy to wear bikinis.

But, I wonder, did these investigators follow up and ask the Nanny what she meant in her deposition when she said this wasn’t about the money?

I also find it interesting that while the Republicans met with witnesses suggested by Roger Clemens, they didn’t interview the three people that Brian McNamee explicitly stated could back his story: former pitcher Pat Hentgen, injured Cardinals pitcher Chris Carpenter and current Astros pitcher Woody Williams. So while the Republicans complain about the Democrats doing incomplete work, they themselves don’t quite seem to care about doing so.

And even better, the Republicans seem to be taking Jose Canseco at his word about the party. This is kind of funny in that Jose Canseco can’t even make up his mind about whether or not Rocket did steroids.

So I guess it’s a good thing Rocket went up and autographed all of those baseballs. Maybe he should have signed a few for the Democrats on that committee. – John Royal


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