In the ever-evolving world of rock cred, few barbs can snap the Achilles heel of a group like the label "girl band." A precursor to the "boy band" tag, it's a misogynistic term used to smack softer, introspective male musicians. You know the pop/rock genre, with its sensitive lyrics and ultra-catchy hooks. These Clearasil-commercial-cute musicians look innocent and vulnerable, like they sincerely care about their hordes of pubescent and collegiate female fans -- and won't dump them after the freshman 15. The girls swoon, clog the arteries of fan sites and melt Dad's credit card on CDs, T-shirts and wall posters. Young female fans are sure to spend their money on the John Mayer and Maroon 5 billing hitting the Cynthia Woods Mitchell Pavilion this week. The smitten girls (and their bored boyfriends) will be lining up for Mayer's wink and aw-shucks grin and Maroon 5's dorm-room aesthetic. Expect the girls to wave their cell phones, glowsticks and lighters and squeal "Marry me!" as Mayer panders to them in his breathy voice, with lyrics like "so fathers, be good to your daughters." 7 p.m. Saturday, July 24. 2005 Lake Robbins Drive. For information, call 713-629-3700 or visit www.cc.com. $35.50 to $45.50. -- Steven Devadanam
A buddy of mine suggested a bunch of us catch the new Will Smith movie at this dive theater he works at just outside of town. No fancy complex, mind you, just a forgotten shoebox theater where we could drink beer, laugh uncontrollably and belch out loud. Our private showing didn't start until midnight, so I killed a little time at Tokyohana (3239 Southwest Freeway, 713-838-9560), sipping a melonrita or three. Mario behind the bar had a crushed-ice machine I would kill for, and he proceeded to whip up glass after glass of one of the best damn frozen concoctions I'd tasted all week. I knew after two sips that the brain freezes were minutes away, but I didn't care. After a while, the dinner crowd started thinning, and I was left with the deadbeat guy next to me, who started rambling about how he'd either just broken up with his girlfriend or killed her cat -- I couldn't figure out which. As I put the third drink down the hatch, I realized I was late for the movie. I got lost trying to find the hole-in-the-wall theater, but luckily I managed to catch the first scene, where Will faces down sexless Barbie dolls on steroids. It made me laugh so hard I spit my beer all over my buddy. The movie ended just as I cracked a tooth on the stale popcorn.
1-1/4 ounces Cuervo Tequila Especial
1-1/4 ounces Boulaine Melon liqueur
1-1/4 ounces Island Oasis margarita mix
Unless you're the proud owner of one of those mack-daddy frozen ice machines, simply put a scoop of crushed ice and the other ingredients in your high-speed blender and mix. Garnish with love or a big black straw. Tastes best after two-mile marathons, bikini waxes and pet burials. -- J.W. Crooker
Cosmos Sipping Cosmos
We like our serious single-malt scotch and scorching tequila, but our inner lush gets worked up at the sight of a glistening martini glass full of what looks like Kool-Aid adorned with a miniature fruit stand for garnish. These concoctions just look damn good on a bar. And you'll look good sipping them at the posh St. Regis Hotel, where the folks from high-end liqueur purveyors Marie Brizard are offering up martinis made with their fruit-based ambrosias, all to raise funds for the Alley Theatre. Dress to impress for this shindig -- the crowd at the St. Regis is sexier than your mango/papaya/kiwi cocktail. 7 p.m. Thursday, July 22. 1919 Briar Oaks Lane. For information, call 713-840-7600. $35. -- Steven Devadanam
Pity poor Joey D. An escapee of the exclusive Nashville music scene, she's a spitting image for Melissa Etheridge, from the sandy blond locks to the raspy voice. So far, D has been a good sport about enduring the comparisons (she'll even occasionally sign autographs as Melissa). The Texas transplant will join Patty Reese and other female acts for Go GirlsRock! at the Rhythm Room this weekend. And really, her life could be worse. At least she's not a ringer for James Taylor. 9 p.m. Saturday, July 24. 1815 Washington Avenue. For information, call 713-863-0943 or visit www.rhythmroomhouston.com. $5 to $8. -- Steven Devadanam
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