Dave Attell

Comedian Dave Attell is brash, loud, funny and oh so politically incorrect. While we laugh at his jokes, we almost never follow his advice. ''Women like lots and lots of attention,'' he says in one standup bit. ''You might call it stalking, but they love it. They try to fool you with restraining orders, getting their friends to beat you up, but don't fall for it — you're on the right track.''

Even though Attell isn't especially handsome (he admits he looks like Andre Agassi with a drinking problem), he offers himself up as prime dating material. ''Young women are looking for the Leonardo DiCaprios, the Brad Pitts and Will Smiths. They're looking for these fantasy men to come off the screen and take them out for a light meal, have sex with a condom and then call you. You know what, ladies? They don’t got the time…I do.''

Attell does have one bit of advice we wholeheartedly agree with: ''Jack Daniel's bottles should come packaged with bail money.''
March 28-30, 2013

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