Would you pay to watch a bunch of fat, outta-shape dudes play softball? You know who we're talking about: the guys who litter community fields every weekend, sliding into base unnecessarily, yelling at refs for no reason and scratching their packages purely for effect. We didn't think so. Another question: Would you pay to see Houston Rocket Tracy McGrady take the field? McGrady wants to bring some basketball flash to the softball diamond. He's recruited a few of his seven-foot friends to play in his charity tournament at the Big League Dreams Softball Complex. Fans will get a chance to see guys who normally slam-dunk slamming into walls instead -- it's sure to be funny as hell. Look for LeBron "Swing 'n' Miss" James, Tim "Ground Out" Duncan and Grant "Pop Fly" Hill to swing for the title of the world's tallest, slightly incompetent softball player. It will be well worth your time -- and pocket money. Launch party 10 p.m. Friday, July 29, at M Bar (402 Main), $10. Tournament starts at 5 p.m. Saturday, July 30. 1150 Big League Dreams Parkway in League City. For tickets, call 866-446-8849 or visit www.toyotacentertix.com. $10 to $20. -- Mosi Secret
Mammoth, trunklike legs. An 8,000-pound frame and reinforced hide. We're not talking about Kirstie Alley, but rather the rhinoceros, nature's second-largest land animal. You'd think that any animal with these kinds of specs would have no problem taking care of itself. But since folks still believe that powdered rhino horns cure fever and enhance sexual stamina (apparently those Tylenol and Viagra commercials just haven't quite sunk in yet), rhinos are on all kinds of endangered species lists. You can help the big lugs this weekend at the Houston Zoo's Bowling for Rhinos event, which includes unlimited bowling for three hours, free shoe and ball rental and unlimited soft drinks. 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. Saturday, July 30. Diamond Lanes, 6327 Spencer Highway in Pasadena. For information and reservations, call 713-533-6510 or visit www.houstonzoo.org/bfr. $25. -- Steven Devadanam
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