Fun with Guns

Joe Rocco

MON 5/30
So, you're a regular magic-bullet-shooting Lee Harvey hotshot whose skill with the scope makes the sniper in Full Metal Jacket look like a rent-a-cop.
Yeah, we get it; you're a regular whiz when it comes to pitching pellets, a Roger Clemens of the range. You just can't help yourself, constantly practicing your aim no matter what the occasion: a languid lunchtime leak at the commode or shooting crumpled documents into the wastebasket across the room. Not to worry, ace. This is Texas. We like our guns, and we like to shoot 'em -- at clay or, if need be, other targets. Fortunately, the second annual Lone Star Shoot gives you a chance to put your money where your Magnum is. Talk about bang for your buck: A pile of bullet-in-the-brain Lincolns gives you a shot at taking down this clay-shooting tourney. A win will secure Dirty Harry bragging rights for life, while your money will help support the Fort Bend County Museum. What are you waiting for? Rifle through your weaponry and sign up, already. We're not kidding when we say it should be a blast (or that we love puns). Registration at 9 a.m., followed by safety and shooting at 10 a.m. Monday, May 30. Rio Brazos Hunting Reserve, 4430 Guyler Road, Simonton. For information and registration, call 281-342-1256. $100. -- Brian McManus

Goals Gone Wild

MON 5/30
Other than a surprise guest appearance by doofus kids' soccer coach Will Farrell, we can't imagine a tournament any cooler than this. This weekend at the sixth annual U.S. Youth Soccer Adidas Cup, you can catch the national women's teams from the United States, Canada and Japan, plus four regional Olympic squads. The young ladies (all aged 19 and under) will be kicking and screaming their way down the grassy pitch as part of the U.S. Nationals, where up-and-coming players will strut their stuff for the Olympic team selection coaches. Root for the Americans when they face Canada on opening day at 6 p.m. Monday, May 30, and when they meet Japan in the tournament finale at 8 p.m. Friday, June 3. Elizabeth K. Meyer Park, 7700 Cypresswood Drive, Spring. For information and a tournament schedule, call 800-476-2237 or visit Free. -- Greg Barr

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