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march 30
Seventh Annual Senior Olympics There's a lot of talk about how seeing hot babes on MTV and the cover of Cosmo is bad for women's self-image. Little talk-show time, however, is devoted to discussing how like a genuine wart hog many teens and twentysomethings feel when they see 75-year-old women kicking ass in competitive sports. If you're young, and need your ego bumped down a peg or two, check out the senior games. Or, if you're young and want something to look forward to, check out the senior games. A thousand or more local senior citizens will compete in everything from bowling to ballroom dancing at 11 venues around town (and one in College Station; the triathlon will be held at Texas A&M). Opening ceremonies, with torches and songs and all the rest, 7:30 p.m. Jewish Community Center, 5601 South Braeswood. Games through April 6. For details, call 551-7250.

The Quilt The NAMES Project Houston sponsors this display of the AIDS Memorial Quilt. Those who've lost a loved one to AIDS might want to stitch up a panel for the quilt. Those who want to stitch up a panel for the quilt but haven't the first idea how to go about such a project can get help from volunteers at 52-NAMES. The quilt goes on display at noon. Opening ceremonies will be at 6 p.m. George R. Brown Convention Center, 1001 Avenida de las Americas. Free.

march 31
Open studios No way can we list all the artists who will be guiding people through their homes and workspaces this weekend and next -- there are 96 artists participating. All kinds of artists. At the opening reception, members of the public can decide whose studios they would like to tour by making a tour of the 24-inch-by-24-inch representative exhibitions each artist has set up. Artists have set up photographs, resumes and maybe some small works in their spaces. Tours through 42 studios west of Montrose 10 a.m.-5 p.m. this weekend. Reception tonight, 6-8 p.m. Lawndale Art & Performance Center, 4912 Main, 528-5858. Free, $2 for a map of the artists' studios.

BuzzFest Last year's BuzzFest was, according to the no doubt perfectly objective people who ran the thing, "two nights of blissful sensory overload." So blissful in fact that they decided to do the thing all over again today and tomorrow. All kinds of high tech experimental music and multimedia and worse will run for two long nights at the Commerce Street Art Warehouse. Research and development teams from Static Ecstasy, one of the featured bands, as well as organizers from the warehouse promise endless flickering image experiments in the video installation and the "best sound ever at CSAW (since the last BuzzFest)." Saturday's battle of the ambient bands is the big show; the focus today is space, acid jazz, acoustic and percussion sounds. Doors open at 9 p.m. and close much later than your parents would like. Unless, that is, your parents are interested in coming along. Music starts at 10 p.m. Commerce Street Art Warehouse, 2315 Commerce Street, 255-5527. $5.

eMCee The intercultural, international performance art team of Matthew and Cynthia Cupach aren't quite up to the standards of a three-a-day vaudeville team, but they're still hard-working people in show business. This evening's show is a one-time only, "gorilla performance art" (their term) presentation called "Vegetable One." If you missed 'em at Rich's last month, step on out to see this "lite-black comedy" about "vegetables, vegetarians, food preparation and botanical pain." 8 p.m. Brasil Gallery, 2604 Dunlavy. For info, call (800) 764-8120, then press 7458. $3.

april 1
April Fool's Day at the Children's Museum Whole lot going on today. On the serious side, we've got a Families First workshop on what happens to kids who watch too much TV. "Media Awareness in the Home" runs from 10:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. and pre-registration is required. The program is $10, and child care is available at $5 a head. For kids who aren't in care, there's foolishness. Kids from six to 12, kids who are always being chided for being comedians or smart-mouths can strut their stuff on-stage. There'll be two sessions for jokes and funny stories, 10 a.m.-1:30 p.m. and 3-4 p.m. At the end of the afternoon, lauded local poets Edward Hirsch, Richard Howard, Cynthia Macdonald and Sharon Olds will read Emily Dickinson poetry. This program is called "A Certain Slant of Light," but they may go on to "After Great Pain a Formal Feeling Comes," "The Heart Asks Pleasure -- First" or even "A Narrow Fellow in the Grass." You know, for the kids. Poetry at 5 p.m. for $5. The Children's Museum, 1500 Binz, 522-1138. $5 general admission, $3 after 5 p.m.

KTRU outdoor concert Rice-heads and other music lovers will beat their Birkenstocks on the chipped pavement of the Rice Stadium parking lot. Bob, from Atlanta (not to be confused with The Bobs who play in Beantown), and Lump, from New Orleans, are the out-of-state acts. de Schmog plays midway through the show and we hope, we hope fervently, that Willis will make a surprise appearance. This seems unlikely -- for some reason, Willis and de Schmog are never seen in the same place -- but it would be great to see one of the greatest glam/cock-rock bands that never was. Willis or no, the show closes with Alejandro Escovedo. Escovedo started out a punk in San Francisco, then he morphed into a cow-punk (a soulful, craftsman sort of cow-punk) and now he's widely hailed as one of Austin's finest young singer/songwriters. He'll go on around 7, or 7:30 or maybe 8 p.m. The whole concert runs from noon-9 p.m. Rice University, Rice Stadium parking lot (entrance no. 13 off Rice Boulevard), 527-4050. In case of rain, concert at The Abyss on Washington. Free.

april 2
The Art of John Biggers: View from the Upper Room John Biggers' work has been exhibited at the MFA before; his work was included in "Black Art: Ancestral Legacy." Biggers has been exhibited all over. In 1943, while he was still a college student, his work was included in the Museum of Modern Art's "Young Negro Art." Some of the 127 drawings, prints, paintings and sculptures on display now at the MFA were produced after Biggers retired from his day job ten years ago and began devoting his time and energy exclusively to art. Biggers cut his teeth on American Regionalism in the 1930s. Later, he blended traditional Western geometric designs with geometric patterns he saw in Africa, especially West Africa. His themes -- black men and women, the black family and spiritual renewal -- have remained constant. This show is the first serious traveling exhibition of Biggers' work and continues through September 3. Then it's on to the South and New England. Museum of Fine Art, 1001 Bissonnet, 639-7300.

Gabriel Faure Anniversary Concert On what would have been the French composer's 150th birthday, the choir of the Christ Church Cathedral celebrates with a little party. In homage to Faure, the concert will include his oft performed Requiem for choir, soloist and orchestra as well as his Cantique de Jean Racine and Tantum ergo. Fellow French composers Louis Vierne and Olivier Messiaen will also have their works represented in the festivities. 3 p.m. Christ Church Cathedral, 1117 Texas, 222-2593. $5, free for children.

april 3
Seventh Annual Jan Carson Invitational Golf Tournament Denzel Washington is on TV, mostly at nights, talking about the Boys and Girls Clubs and all the terrific work they do for kids, so the citizenry ought to be up to speed on why the clubs need money. This golf tournament has raked in $675,000 so far; last year alone it raised $203,000. With a good tournament this time around, maybe they'll make a million. Some of the pros who'll play are U.S. Open champ Kathy Guadagnino, Sally Little, Kim Williams, Lisa Kiggens and Denise Baldwin. Houston's own Kim Bauer and Baytown native Lori Tatum will also be whacking the little white pill. The format is four-player scramble with a pro assigned to each group. Shotgun start at 10:30 a.m. Champions Golf Club. For details, or to enter, call the Boys and Girls Clubs of Greater Houston, 784-5667.

april 4
Volapuk's Revenge We are told the ones responsible for this farce are "very famous in Germany (and several places in Europe)." The ones responsible, German cabaret duo Faltsch Wagoni, call their multilanguage musical Grotextmusic. Instead of singing "Fly Me to the Moon," they give us visitors from Pluto. Turns out the Plutonians are multilingual (as are many Europeans). The Plutonians also seem to have flirted with Esperanto, the man-made universal language. (Who would of thought it would go so far?) This happy-fun show is full of Plutonian lore, dance and children's songs such as this one: "Volapuk, Volapuk -- vier lingue in one bouche/ un jour will come zuruck!/ Le babel de Babylon/ was a Baby-Babbel-Hohn/ im Vergleigh zu Volapuk." Catchy, eh? Like diese wochenede or tanti baci. There's plenty of mime, gesturing and acting, so those who don't speak any English, German, Italian or French can follow along. 7:30 p.m. Rice University, Hamman Hall (entrance no. 14 off Rice Boulevard). For details, call 528-2787. Free.

Divided Memories We can't seem to stop suggesting Frontline. With quality programming such as this appearing regularly on PBS, it's a wonder anyone subscribes to Warner Cable. Tonight's topic is "repressed memory syndrome." Repressed memory syndrome is controversial, to say the least. Producer Ofra Bikel says, "I wanted to study the debate," and after a year of study, "found it was not a debate at all, but a holy war." In some cases, people in therapy who "discover" repressed memories of abuse have families who not only discover, but also provide, evidence countering the allegations. A woman in her early 20s, for instance, says she was mutilated as a child, locked up for days on end and so forth. Her family points out that her comprehensive and complete medical records show no signs of bad spankings, let alone mutilation. They also point out that her school attendance records are in conflict with her stories of imprisonment. Meanwhile, in therapists' offices all over the country, patients, mostly women, are curled up on couches sobbing hysterically. Are these women who had evil pediatricians and elementary school teachers who kept quiet about suspicious injuries? Or if many, or even most, of the recently unrepressed memories are false, well, then, who are these people claiming to be victims? And why are they saying these terrible things? One woman in the documentary, Maura Kane, says she said such terrible things, accused her father of having molested her, after reading a book. The lesson here would seem to be that reading only one book is not necessarily educational. And that, thanks to PBS, TV can be. 9 p.m. KUHT/Channel 8.

april 5
Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs Also known as Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, Especially Dopey! Yes, in Disney's World on Ice there's always a place for the most lugubrious little woodsman of all. When it gets down to dwarfs, how could anyone have a favorite other than Dopey? Sure, Grumpy and Sleepy are good role models; Doc is a respectable professional; here in the allergy capital of Texas our sympathies are ever with Sneezy; Itchy and Scratchy are ... are not dwarfs. But that's beside the point. The point is Dopey. Dopey really would whistle while he worked, all day long, and maybe with some classy riffs. Dopey is the single most important element of this extravaganza. Plus, as always in a Disney's World on Ice show, one character comes out on a giant set piece that looks very likely to fall over. Kids love that. The set piece in this show is the Evil Queen's laboratory. Five days only! Tonight is family night, save $3 on tickets. 7:30 p.m. The Summit, 10 Greenway Plaza, 961-9003 or 629-3700. $10.50-$15.50.


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