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Tie One On
Tie One On
Courtesy of Dare Ware

Tie One On

SAT 12/11

Christmas is a time for holiday well-wishing, gift exchanging, carol singing and eggnog sipping. But tonight at 2401 San Jacinto, it's also a time for burlesque stripping, girl-on-girl posturing and leather wearing. Lusty ladies and gents are invited to show their stuff (and check out everyone else's) at Dare Ware's third annual Sinful X-mas Party. The event, like every Dare Ware shindig, promises some serious people watching -- folks show up in bondage or barely there outfits that would make Hef hop outta his silky robe. There'll be a Naughty Grinch, who'll stalk the party playing grab-ass and generally misbehaving. Santa's Little Helpers will be cavorting around wearing, um, "not very much," says Dare Ware owner Martin Zidell. The slinky ladies will jiggle and tease you (and each other) while a Kinky Santa gives away door prizes and finds out if you've been naughty or nice. (You may want to think twice before sitting on his knee, however.) The horny hoedown culminates with Calla Antoinette performing what Zidell calls an "old-school burlesque show," complete with singing and a slow, provocative striptease.

Not wild about showing more than your stockings? Dress in street or party wear, Zidell advises. "Women can do a red evening dress, and guys can do a red shirt and black pants," he says. "But if you're looking to dress naughty, this is the night to do it." 9 p.m. Saturday, December 11. 2401 San Jacinto. For tickets and information, call 713-953-9393 or visit $10 in advance, $15 at the door. --Steven Devadanam


The Remington's Mexapolitan

I was almost an hour early to meet this crazy Latina babe at a sports bar when I realized I was just around the corner from the Remington (1919 Briar Oaks Lane, 713-403-2631). I stopped in the bar for a Mexapolitan -- essentially a margarita in a martini glass -- and took in my surroundings. The classy place had such comfortable barstools, I wondered why we weren't we meeting here. I sipped my drink and thought about calling her, but the two lovelies sitting just to my left made me forget about that for a while. The brunette was doing her best to show off her, um, charms, and when she caught me staring, she put on quite a show. If she rearranged her low-cut sweater one more time, I was going to have to excuse myself. As a diversion, I finally called my date and told her to meet me here, and she informed me she was still a half-hour away. I ordered another cocktail. When she finally showed up, she looked like a two-bit whore dressed in one of the most bizarre, almost homemade-looking outfits I've ever seen. Oh, how I wished I'd gone out on the town solo! When she ordered a Diet Coke, I damn near fell off my stool. My thirst went into overdrive, and soon I was telling her the raunchiest jokes I could remember. My plan worked. She was gone before finishing her drink.

2 ounces Sauza Tres Generaciones tequila
1/4 ounce Cointreau
Splash of lime juice

Measure out contents into cocktail shaker filled with ice and shake vigorously. Strain into martini glass. Garnish with lime. Spectacular on date night, with or without a date. -- J.W. Crooker

Shiny Happy People

SAT 12/11

Glitter on the walls, glitter on the guests, and even glitter in the cocktails: The folks at DIFFA (The Design Industries Foundation Fighting AIDS) are out to make disco balls look bland. At the Glitter Ball, DJ Chicken George will spin as guests sip martinis, munch powdered doughnuts and decide how much to bid on designer wreaths created by the likes of Betsey Johnson and Todd Oldham. The goodie bag alone quadruples the admission price in value. Need more reason to attend? All proceeds go to local AIDS organizations. White, silver or glittery attire is required at 8 p.m. Saturday, December 11. Deborah Colton Gallery, 2500 Summer Street, third floor. For reservations, call 713-528-0505 or visit $60. -- Julia Ramey

Box Social

SAT 12/11

It's hard to get 125 local artists together all at once, which makes the $100 Box project all the more impressive. Their challenge: To create out-of-the-box works of art from wooden boxes provided by two galleries. Everything from a microchip board to a brooding portrait will be up and for sale for a flat fee of, well, you get the idea. Bring your benjamins at 6 p.m. Saturday, December 11, to Mind Puddles, 2305 Dunlavy; and 6 p.m. Sunday, December 12, to Bering & James Gallery, 2482 Bolsover. Through December at both galleries. For information, call 713-529-0351 or visit Free. -- Bob Ruggiero


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