With all due respect to the current regime of 'roided-out wrestlers, we have to say: Whatever happened to the good ol' days? Gone is the heyday of the balding, orange-skinned power-flexer Hulk Hogan, who conquered worldwide evil -- like the ambiguously Middle Eastern villain Iron Sheik -- in the name of the USA. Gone are Hogan's cohorts, like the fat, sweaty Hawaiian-shirt-clad Captain Lou Albano of the ponytailed beard, or the always trippin' Junkyard Dog, who mastered the art of steel chains as an accessory. Gone too is the World Wrestling Federation that lots of us grew up on. These days, it's World Wrestling Entertainment, which is chock-full of T&A and "HLA" (the popular WWE crowd chant demanding "hot lesbian action" from female wrestlers). At today's WWE "Raw Live" event, you can get your fill of the current roster of WWE stars, like Triple H, who's poised to fill the void that former wrestler the Rock created when he moved to Hollywood. Joining Triple H will be a cast including Randy Orton, Chris Benoit, Batista, Maven, Ric Flair, Christian, Edge and the juggy Trish Stratus. Flex your guns and scream for some HLA at 7:30 p.m. Thursday, December 30. Toyota Center, 1510 Polk. For tickets and information, call 713-629-3700 or visit www.houstontoyotacenter.com. $15 to $45. -- Steven Devadanam
Ah, the excuses for not starting a New Year's fitness program: I hate wearing Spandex. I can't miss Joey. I like pie too much. And of course, I can't afford it. Well, 24 Hour Fitness won't take your whining, damn it. The fitness club chain is opening up its cardio machines, classes (like spinning or yoga) and weight rooms for a free workout day. Anyone looking to shed the accumulated poundage of the season can stop in for a session at any of the club's 26 Houston-area locations. You can roll out the door and end up on a treadmill, sweating out all that New Year's Eve champagne. Thursday, December 30, through Saturday, January 1. Twenty-six locations, including 1550 Post Oak Boulevard. For information, call 1-800-204-2400 or visit www.24hourfitness.com. Free. -- Julia Ramey
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