Typically, tour announcements come and go with little fanfare around here, especially when it's a band like Austin natives Spoon. We love Spoon a lot, and frankly would like to see Houston's name on more tour announcements like the one that recently caught our eye, albeit for an entirely different reason.
Spoon's new album, due next month, is titled They Want My Soul; in keeping with the theme, the band will be playing at the Fairbanks Lawn of the Hollywood Forever Cemetery in Los Angeles. That got us thinking. Again, no offense to Spoon, but there are loads of artists we'd pay to see play in such a spooky locale that might be more setting-appropriate.
10. King Diamond The macabre former front man of Mercyful Fate announced his first full tour in ages recently, but even he isn't stepping foot in a graveyard. We'd love to see him do it, though.
9. Metallica We've written before about Metallica's penchant for playing ludicrous places, so who better to set up their amps in a graveyard? They might not be very dark nowadays, but they can rock any location on Earth or elsewhere.
8. Ghost B.C. These guys are known for their corpse paint and theatricality, so it's a wonder to me that they didn't already think of doing this.
7. Candlemass Doom metal in a graveyard might seem to be a little bit too on the nose, but Candlemass' most famous and excellent video was shot in a graveyard. Can you imagine a reenactment of it in a live show?
6. Motorhead There's no real reason Motorhead would play in a graveyard, but who better to wake the dead than the loudest band in the world?
5. Pantera Despite its impossibility now, we'd love to go back in time and see Pantera play "Cemetery Gates" in a real cemetery. Especially in a time period when Phil Anselmo could still hit the high notes.
List continues on the next page.
4. Unknown Hinson The hilarious parody of country-western singers would be perfect because it fits so well with his gimmick of also being some sort of vampire and grave robber.
3. Jandek The Houston recluse is sort of an arbitrary choice, but he only ever seems to step out of the shadows to play shows that are interesting in some manner, so this would be a perfect way to coax him out of hiding.
2. Slayer I feel like the reasons here should just be obvious, because it's fucking Slayer. You're telling me you wouldn't go?
1. Dethklok Dethklok is metal. Graveyards are metal. It's a match made in Hell, just like something front man Brendon Small would come up with for an episode of the band's cartoon.
ROCKS OFF'S GREATEST HITS
If you like this story, consider signing up for our email newsletters.
SHOW ME HOW
You have successfully signed up for your selected newsletter(s) - please keep an eye on your mailbox, we're movin' in!
The Ask Willie D Archives Houston's Top 10 Hipster Bars, Clubs & Icehouses 2014 Today's 10 Most Promising Young Metal Bands Hip-Hop's Seven Best Breakup Songs Houston's Top 10 Rooftop Bars and Lounges