10 More Movies Kanye West Should Star In
It seems Kanye West has got a bit of a movie boner as of late. He's been promoting the hell out of Yeezus, his new album, by projecting videos on buildings across the nation.
He started out innocently enough, by attempting to project the music video for his Yeezus track "New Slaves" across understated landmarks like the Alamo and Houston's Rothko Chapel, but has moved on to bigger, better promotional videos.
Cue the tape, please.
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West has now not only splashed his face across the walls of America, he's continued to do us a solid by releasing this American Psycho spoof that stars none other than the douche brother-in-law himself, Scott Disick. During the film spoof, Disick makes reference to West's track, "I'm a God," which based on the title itself is bordering on hilarious, and Scott's acting is equally hilarious because it's bordering on abysmal.
Given that Kanye seemed to be quite the movie fanatic before he started splashing his face on random walls -- see the millions of movie references he makes in his work, starting with his earliest album -- it makes sense that he'd go this route. However, I'd like to think that Kanye could do quite a bit more justice to the whole movie spoof thing. Surely his acting chops are slightly above average; I mean, he did pretend to be humble for a while there. Perhaps he should take Disick's place and star in his own films (other than that pesky sex tape, of course).
Ye's a busy guy, though, with the new baby and all, so we've come up with a few suggestions for movies that would be fitting for him to step right into, and here they are. Ten Movies Kanye Should Have a Starring Role In.
10. The Wizard of Oz Ye's got mad love for the Broadway play Wicked, so it makes total sense that he could star in his own version of The Wizard of Oz. Think of all the possibilities. He could even design the costumes, now that he's a bona fide designer for Giuseppe Zanotti. All of the stuff he's designed for them looks straight off of a movie spoof as it is.
9. Armageddon I mean, they callin' him an alien, a big-headed astronaut -- obviously because Yeezy gets ass a lot -- so why not have him join the cast of Armageddon? That meteor hurtling towards earth is no match for the size of Kanye's ego or his astronaut skills, and he's already basically extraterrestrial -- according to Katy Perry, anyway.
8. Caddyshack Plaid is kind of his thing, and poor Ye gets no respect, no respect at all. He'd make a perfect stand-in for Rodney Dangerfield's character in Caddyshack. He's just as unabashedly brash and obnoxious as Dangerfield's nouveau riche character Al Czervik. Jay Z could join the cast as Chevy Chase, Zen-quotes and all.
7. Braveheart He's got a penchant for kilts -- see his last tour's choice of attire -- and he's always fighting off those damn oppressors, so William Wallace could easily become Kanye Wallace. Wearin' skirts, slayin' haters. That's how he does it.
6. 300 There are just three words needed to explain this one: I...am...KANYEEEEEEEE!
5. The Goonies I don't have anything to validate this; I'd just really kill to see Kanye play a character in The Goonies, especially Chunk.
4. Jaws This quote from The New York Times says it all:
So when you get something that has the name Kanye West on it, it's supposed to be pushing the furthest possibilities. I will be the leader of a company that ends up being worth billions of dollars, because I got the answers. I understand culture. I am the nucleus
I mean, cause Kanye's music terrorizes entire townships, right? He's so vicious; Ye's not the townspeople; he's the fuckin' shark!
3. Old School He's named one of the tracks on Yeezus "Hold My Liquor," he's been a jackass and a half while swigging straight Hennessy, and he's obsessed with remaining perpetually cool, despite racking up the years and becoming a father. What movie could be more fitting for him than a movie about a bunch of old dudes who start a fraternity? Ye would fit right in with this crew, especially since he claims that he used to be kicked out of class in the fourth grade for bringing in dirty magazines and sketching out "Nikeys." I'd assume he meant Nike? Blue, you're my boy!
2. The Shining Let's be fair: no one can rant quite like Kanye can. He's the king of rants, from Twitter to live awards shows to interview rants to that permafrown he's always sporting, the guy is a walking, talking rant machine. So the only movie rant that can even come close was brought to us courtesy of The Shining and Mr. Jack Nicholson. No Paris and media attention make Kanye a dull boy.
1. The Passion of the Christ There's only so many times the guy gets a pass for calling himself God -- or name songs "I Am a God," before he comes off as looking flat-out desperate; Yeezus is obviously campaigning for the follow-up role in The Passion of the Christ and we just didn't understand him. No one understands his genuis!
He should wear the Jesus piece and chain in the remake; it would add some ridiculously misunderstood artistic irony to the film.
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