10 Songs You'll Like If You're Still Drunk
Note: this article originally appeared in April 2014. Drink up!
Boozy playlists are the very best, better still when they randomly appear on your playlist the day after you've knocked back a few beers. Your drunk brain always knows what kind of music the sober you needs. Or most of the time, anyway.
Unfortunately, sometimes drunken downloading can be just about as beer-goggle dangerous as anything we can think of. For example, we may know a certain writer who has a penchant for downloading Billy Idol songs while inebriated. The "Rebel Yell" singer only released so many songs, and that idiot may own them all. But thanks to that mishap, we've learned our lesson...sort of.
A proper drunk download should be something that isn't terribly depressing -- we don't need any drunk criers -- and makes for a decent singalong. Bonus points if the subject matter involves alcohol, and no matter what your sudsy brain tells you, no Billy Idol no matter what. In order to save your weekend from your own crappy music tastes, we've compiled a playlist of the most awesome boozehound songs to download during your Saturday vodka sessions.
Read it now, and perhaps it'll absorb by osmosis. It's worth a try. If it works, your sober brain will thank you, because it's hard as hell to get Billy Idol off a playlist once he's on there.
10. "La Grange," ZZ Top Songs about brothels are the best shit ever when you're on the tipsy side, and so are songs by ZZ Top. Throw in a little Dolly Parton connection by way of The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas -- both the song and the play are about Fayette County's notorious Chicken Ranch -- and you've covered all the drunken bases. You've also saved face by downloading ZZ Top rather than some other, more shameful non-Texan band.
9. "Beer Run (B Double E Double Are You In)," Garth Brooks & George Jones Beer and country music were made to mingle, and are at their very best on this Garth Brooks/George Jones collab about, well, gettin' drunk. Good luck finding this on iTunes -- Brooks won't sell his music there, thankyouverymuch, and Jones's The Rock: Stone Cold Country 2001 is likewise unavailable -- so maybe find an Internet jukebox somewhere.
8. "Fool In The Rain," Led Zeppelin If you don't already have this on your sober playlist, for shame. But try to convince your quittin'-time self to download it anyway, because nothing says good times like dirty shimmying to "Fool In the Rain" in the middle of a bar. Stop judging.
7. "Cracklin' Rosie," Neil Diamond Oh, Cracklin' Rosie. How you make us so happy. This song, which is often interpreted Neil Diamond's ode to a lady of the night -- a "store bought woman" named Cracklin' Rosie -- is actually not about a hooker but a type of wine...according to Diamond. No one has a clue what wine he is actually referring to, and neither do we. But really, we don't care what the lyrics mean as long as you make "Rosie" part of your drunk-download collection.
6. "One Bourbon, Once Scotch, One Beer," George Thorogood and the Delaware Destroyers George Thorogood and the Delaware Destroyers actually have a couple of decent drunk-download choices, so we would have also accepted "I Drink Alone." We left it off for the sake of hoping that you're not actually drinking alone -- unless you're at work, when it's totally socially acceptable.
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5. "Carolina Drama," The Raconteurs We know: it's Jack White, and he sucks. But the Raconteurs didn't, and "Carolina Drama" is a hidden drunken gem.
4. "Gin House Blues," Nina Simone Plenty of musicians have covered this blues staple, which was the work of Bessie Smith in 1928. But out of all of them -- The Animals, Buster Bailey, Cannibal Corpse and a laundry list of others -- it was Nina Simone, the quintessential jazz diva, who did "Gin House Blues" complete justice. Go on and just download it.3. "Tiny Dancer," Elton John
, we tell you -- knows quite why this song is so good while drunk, but it is. We refuse to hide our love for it, and you shouldn't either. Hold us closer, "Tiny Dancer." We'll always drunkenly shout your lyrics with no shame.
2. "Fuck You I'm Drunk," Bondo Uh, did you read the title of the song? These Chicago-bred punks know what makes for a decent drunk download, and "Fuck You I'm Drunk" is right up there with the best of them. Download this one with pride; the world will be impressed with your prowess.
1. "I'm Shipping Up to Boston," Dropkick Murphys Listen, if you don't feel like a drunken, rowdy pirate after you download this song, there's something wrong with your drinking strategy. Now go find your wooden leg, and please make sure you don't blame us for any of the other garbage you end up downloading this weekend. Everything you needed was right here.
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