Carolyn Wonderland is in and of herself a grand Texas institution, and embodies the everything about us a musical people. We humbly knelt before her to find out what we could in 30 seconds.

Rocks Off: What is the worst song in the world?

Carolyn Wonderland: After much consideration, it's a tie between "MacArthur Park" and the Sinatra/Greenwood duet "Phaedra"... Actually, "Phaedra" is so bad, it's good again... So, maybe the hold music while you are waiting to pay a bill. I mean, I'm giving you money, there's no need to assault me.

RO: What si the best lyric in the world?

CW: "Getting wet is only a problem if staying dry was what you wanted to do" Greg Wood from Horseshoe's "Getting Wet."

RO: Someone throws a beer bottle at you on stage. What do you do?

CW: If they're a good shot and it's a real beer, drink it. If they're a great shot and didn't care for me, duck or get hit, I suppose. If the bleeding ain't too bad, play the next song while inviting said provocateur to fornicate themselves to a nice blues shuffle.

RO: Without worrying about space, time, or the laws of physics, what would be the ultimate gig to play?

CW: I'd like to jam with all of my friends and heroes, both in this world and gone, in my living room. Aside from that, every time we play at Levon Helm's home in Woodstock, it's pure Heaven. We've played there with Guy Forsyth, Kris Kristofferson, Shelley King, Hubert Sumlin, Waylon Payne, Donald Fagen... Heck, Larry Campbell once sat in with us for half a set on pedal steel, mandolin and guitar... When we recorded "Golden Stairs" there, I felt the spirit of Jerry Lightfoot and Vince Welnick in the room. Maybe I just miss them both still so much. In my dreams, we'd all be back there and bring Ray Benson, Lavelle White, Los Lobos, Bob Dylan, Little Screaming Kenny, Willie Nelson... Oh yeah, it's just a dream... Tomorrow's gig will be good, too!

RO: What would you buy with a million dollars?

CW: A few lobbyists, congressmen, and senators to represent the rest of us.

RO: What would you buy with your last dollar?

CW: Seeds for the garden.

RO: If you could canonize another musician, who would it be and of what would they be the patron saint?

CW: Jerry Lightfoot - Patron Saint of Hard Knocks and Generosity

RO: What will be written on the plaque beneath the giant statue future generations erect in your honor?

CW: Graffiti goes here (with an arrow pointing up).

Carolyn Wonderland plays Dosey Doe on Saturday December 17.