We sat down with legendary Hates front man Christian Arnheiter to find out what we could learn about Houston punk's elder statesman in 30 seconds.
Rocks Off: What is the worst song in the world?
Christian Arnheiter: "Need You Now," by Lady Antebellum. "It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk, and I need you now." Really? I can't think of anyone who would find that romantic. Or complimentary. It's just a sappy beer goggles song, and they played it to death.
RO: What is the best lyric in the world?
I never done good things
I never done bad things
I never done anything out of the blue
Want an axe to break the ice
Wanna come down right now
RO: Someone throws a beer bottle at you. What do you do?
CA: Dodge. In fact, it's happened. I am pretty proud of the fact that my reflexes allowed me to duck and keep on playing without missing a note.
RO: Without worrying about time, space, or physical laws, what would be the ultimate gig?
CA: Actually, I would love to have been a part of the last Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars show at the Hammersmith Odeon in '73, going on right before them. Marc Bolan, David Bowie, and Mick Ronson would each come out and jam with the Hates during our set. If there was any musical genre that truly awed me, it was definitely glam-rock. I have come to regard glam as the parent of punk rock.
RO: What will you buy with your first million dollars?
CA: A house in the Heights big enough for a small recording studio for me, an artist's studio for my fiancée, and a yard for my dog. Then I could really retire and just focus on music.
RO: What would you buy with your last dollar?
CA: Flowers to put on my mother's grave. Or something sweet for my fiancee.
RO: If you could canonize another musician as a saint, who would you and of what would they be the patron saint?
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CA: John Lennon as The Patron Saint of Ending All Wars and Bringing Lasting Peace Through Understanding.
The Hates play with Carl Hayn Saturday, January 22, at Walter's. Arnheiter is currently penning an autobiography about his time as a Houston punk musician.
Jef With One F is the author of The Bible Spelled Backwards Does Not Change the Fact That You Cannot Kill David Arquette and Other Things I Learned In the Black Math Experiment, available now.