—————————————————— 5 Badass Custom Guitars (That Can Be Used For Murder) | Rocks Off | Houston | Houston Press | The Leading Independent News Source in Houston, Texas

Whatever

5 Badass Custom Guitars (That Can Be Used For Murder)

You would think that guitar players could be content shredding awesome solos while holding one of the most worshipped musical instruments on the planet. Jim Morrison certainly didn't give head to Ray Manzarek's organ on stage. No sir, he went down on the all time greatest phallic symbol this side of a firearm.

Still, for some strummers that just isn't enough. What if you want to not only kill a room, but actually kill a room? The good news... if that's the correct way to think about such things... is that the option to go on a murder spree immediately after nailing a blistering lick is totally on the table.

What I'm saying is, clap, you monkies. Clap and cheer, because no guitar player in the history of the planet has been praised for their fine impulse control, and now they're armed.

Masaki Kyomoto Special Has a Sword Built Right In

Assume that you're actor/guitarist Masaki Kyomoto, and for the purposes of this article we'll also assume you're completely insane. There you are, on stage musicing the living shit out of a song when some drunk hurls a beer bottle at you to express their meatheaded displeasure for you guitar, which incidentally looks like it was painted by Van Gogh while he was getting a hot pork bath from H.P. Lovecraft.

No problem! Just grab hold of the rigid purple erect thing... it's Japan, and pull out your full-length samurai sword to exact swift vengeance on all who mock your gear. This was one of four custom made guitars that ESP built especially for Kyomoto, who starred in films like Legend of the Eight Samurai. According to guitarnoize.com, "The guitar features a short scale neck, Alder and cast material body, a carbon nut, a Seymour Duncan SH-1b and the bridge is listed as a 'Badass Type.'"

And a sword. Good luck getting your hands on one. ESP did them just for Kyomoto and isn't selling them on their Web site

Damien Death Cross Is Dangerous Even for the Guitarist

In 1996 Damien Esmond wanted something violent and dangerous, so he had guitar maker Ed Roman craft the Damien Death Cross. It has an Arrow headstock, gothic cross inlays, is made from solid lacewood snakeskin wood with an ebony fingerboard, 24 frets, and real Floyd Rose Tremolo. Of course, what really grabs your eye is the razor sharp spike that protrudes from the base. It's visually exciting and metal as all get out, but it's also extremely dangerous.

"I still enjoy the eye popping out of the skull look I get when fans/strangers/mosh'ers in the pit see it for the first time, when they realize that its real as fuck, and potentially deadly (The spike has been inside my thigh twice now( very deep) and my lead singer's thigh once (he's learned to hang on the other side now, for safety)," said Esmond in a letter to Roman in 2010.

KEEP THE HOUSTON PRESS FREE... Since we started the Houston Press, it has been defined as the free, independent voice of Houston, and we'd like to keep it that way. With local media under siege, it's more important than ever for us to rally support behind funding our local journalism. You can help by participating in our "I Support" program, allowing us to keep offering readers access to our incisive coverage of local news, food and culture with no paywalls.
Jef Rouner (not cis, he/him) is a contributing writer who covers politics, pop culture, social justice, video games, and online behavior. He is often a professional annoyance to the ignorant and hurtful.
Contact: Jef Rouner