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SXSW

5 SXSW Keynote Speakers Who Would Be More Fun Than Dave Grohl

It's official: Your SXSW keynote speaker for 2013 is Dave Grohl. A reliable choice who commands a great deal of clout and respect in the music industry, the same as speakers of years past such as Bruce Springsteen. I'm sure Grohl will do a great job and I only have one little complaint: He's not a fun choice.

Grohl is a safe choice, like when they chose Paul McCartney for the Super Bowl Halftime Show the year after the Janet Jackson debacle. He's good and solid, but we already hear from him regularly and we know that nothing too crazy will happen. Were I choosing the speaker, I would go the more, let us say, interesting route.

5. Fiona Apple

Fiona Apple has been on the outskirts of the music industry for most of her life, plugging away at masterful records that only make themselves known every once in a while. She's known for being an incredible artist whose music has just a touch of madness that makes it great. In a way, she's like a young, female Tom Waits, twisting pop music to suit her particular form of experimentation.

She's also awesome when she speaks. She often speaks in metaphors only she understands or bluntly calls out bullshit for what it is. You never know what you're going to get from Apple, and considering she's such a recluse, it would be especially significant to get her up in front of the SXSW audience to give her thoughts on music and the music business.

4. Prince

The hard part here would probably be getting the Artist to do it. Prince seems to speak where and when he feels like it, rather than when people want him to. That being said, though, if it could be arranged, it might just be amazing to hear what the man has to say about the music industry.

This is a guy who claims that the Internet is a dead medium and chooses to release his albums in newspapers, then somehow manages to keep making money and staying relevant whenever he chooses. Clearly he knows something we don't. A speech from him could either illuminate us on his secrets or just be batshit fucking insane, but that's why he'd make such a great speaker.

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Corey Deiterman