5 Weird Music Figurines To Spruce Up Your Home or Office
For those looking to bring a bit of personality to their cubicle or to add character to a boring bookshelf there is a whole world of music collectables out there to choose from. From statues to bobbleheads to dolls these figures, no matter what you call them, are yet another revenue stream for the enterprising artist.
It makes sense that bands like the Beatles and Kiss have figures. Both acts are loved by millions and neither are shy about licensing their names and likeness if it will eventually make them some money. In fact, there are a lot of acts out there that no one would bat an eye at if they saw the figure on sale at their local mall: Elton John, Lady Gaga, Slipknot, etc., all artists known for their often crazy costumes and theatricality.
On the other hand, some figures out there that just seem sort of random and out of place. Whether they're artists that you don't expect to see immortalized in plastic or design decisions that may leave you shaking your head these things exist.
You can buy them. It may cost you a pretty penny on eBay, but if you've got money to burn and the right amount of passion you can get one of the following to put on your mantle next to the footprints of your dog and that clock that stopped working years ago.
5. Rush "Starman" Rock Iconz Statue by Knucklebonz
Rush's 2112 is one of the rare cases where the artwork on the back of the album is more iconic than the front. Dubbed the Starman, the art depicts the naked hero of the album facing the symbol of the album's evil confederacy. There's some symbolism involved too, but mostly it just looks cool on a shirt.
If wearing the Starman isn't enough, you can get him in all his naked, silver glory to display. Depending on how cool your boss is or isn't you might want to leave this guy at home, unless you're willing to answer questions about his lack of clothing or when the Silver Surfer got hair. And make sure it has the certificate of authenticity: say no to bootleg Starmen.
Photo via http://www.grillsbypaulwall.com
4. Paul Wall Bobblehead
Plenty of rappers have their own bobbleheads, but the Paul Wall bobble stands out for what it has and what it's missing. He may only be seven inches tall, but he comes packing his signature grill, his iced-up chain, and a cup of liquid refreshment. It also has a scarily accurate hair design.
Still, I can't help but feel this would have been just a little bit better if he had a title belt of some sort. Would it be corny? Hell yes, but we're talking about a seven-inch Paul Wall bobblehead that has a drink in his hand.
3. The Ghostface Killah Doll by 4CAST Limited
With an original price of $500, little Ghostface Killah balls harder than I ever have in my life. The dinner plate chain? 14k gold. Replica of the coolest wristband in the history of rap? That eagle is not only 14k gold, but it also has a diamond in it. His robe? Significantly less expensive, but certainly comfortable looking.
Word of advice: if you absolutely have to have a Ghostface Killah Doll, look for him on Ebay. 4CAST stopped paying the bills on TheGhostfaceDoll.com a while back and now it's one of those free online arcade game portals. As of this writing there are no gold and diamond eagles to be found there.
2. GG Allin 1991 Throbblehead Figure by Aggronautix
We here at Rocks Off are no strangers to the "throbbleheads" produced by Aggronautix . They've put out some super-cool figures including J Mascis, Roky Erickson, Milo from Descendents and now Detroit rock heroes Wayne Kramer and James Williamson. However, their version of GG Allin remains their crowning achievement.
Throbblehead GG has the tattoos, the blood, and the other assorted crud that made him the man we all know and love and is the perfect gift for the person in your life who knows all the lyrics to "Bite It You Scum." He also comes in two versions; most can get by with regular but if you just need more blood and violence there's an extra-filthy version.
1. Keith Emerson Sculpture by Knucklebonz
I saw this the other day at a local comic book store and was perplexed. Everything else on this list I understand: Rush has tons of fans, Paul Wall is the People's Champ, and everyone loves Ghostface Killah. Even GG Allin has a market with the sick and ironic.
I'm not sure who wakes up one morning and decides to spend $150 on a sculpture of Keith Emerson, one-third of '70s prog-rock supergroup Emerson, Lake & Palmer. Three thousand of these things were made and each one was hand-painted and hand-numbered, so clearly there's a market if Knucklebonz was going to spend that amount of time on it.
Don't get me wrong, it's beautiful for what it is. It's just that what it happens to be is a foot-tall Keith Emerson with giant keyboard that looks less like a guy at a rock concert and more like a supervillian who just had Superman burst through his door. I want to meet all 3,000 people who buy this and discuss the virtues of Love Beach.
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