50 Questions About Drake
Drake is in concert in Houston tonight. I'm covering the show. And I've been thinking about him a lot. So, 50 questions about Drake:
Is Drake for real? Or did he just never stop acting?
Is there anything that can be written about Drake that hasn't been written already? Did Drake break criticism? Can you defend Drake without sounding corny and contrived? Can you dismantle Drake without sounding corny and contrived?
Is Drake the greatest rapper of the Internet generation? Remember GQ ran that article on Drake, Kid Cudi and Wale back when they all had around the same level of fame? Remember that it said that the gangster persona was dying/dead? Did they become right? Is gangster rap no longer a viable (lucrative) genre? Also, how mad are Cudi and Wale that Drake grew into the superstar everyone expected while they stalled out? Are they like, "Man, fuck that big-eyebrowed fool"?
Ooh, why are Drake's eyebrows so thick?
Why did Drake make that one commercial with Sprite that made him look like a robot? Was it a subtle F You to people that criticize him for being so emotional?
Is Drake really even all that emotional? Did Drake revolutionize the way men rap about things? Why did DMX get so upset with Drake? Philosophically, don't they both do the exact same thing?
Are people still bothered that he assimilated so much of Houston's rap culture into his music? Isn't that good for everyone involved?
Can Houston claim him as its own? Or will he just always belong to Canada? Is it strange that one of the blandest countries on the planet produced one of the most divisive acts within one of the most divisive forms of pop culture?
Ooh, did you know Canada was named by accident? Isn't that interesting?
Did Thank Me Later, Drake's debut album, age well? (Should we, in fact, thank him?) Or do all of the hashtag rap punch lines make it sound wack now? Was it wack then? It wasn't wack then, was it?
Was last year's Take Care 50 times better than Thank Me Later? It was, wasn't it?
Was it because his whole Woe Is Me, My Bank Charges Me An Unreasonable Fee To Hold My Millions Of Dollars And Too Many Women Want To Give Me Unsolicited Blowjobs shtick seemed strange -- and maybe even a little annoying -- on TML, but had been sharpened into an entirely interesting existential crisis on TC?
Will Drake leave YMCMB like many are anticipating Nicki Minaj will do once her obligations there are fulfilled? Or will he forever stand with Wayne's leggings? Is he more famous than Wayne now? Does that even matter?
And where is Birdman in all of this? When is everyone going to realize that Birdman actually died a few years ago, and that he's just sort of been zombie-ing around? Shouldn't that star tattoo on the top of his head have been a sign that something was wrong? What the fuck is wrong with people?
Is Drake the greatest singing rapper that's ever existed? Has anyone ever been able to mutter, "Man, I really don't like what Drake did with that hook"? Isn't that something we should be talking about?
Also, when do we start talking about his legacy? Can we even do that if he never delivers a truly, inarguably, brilliantly classic album?
Will his cultural influence supplement his musicality in the How Great Was He Debate that everyone will be having if he sticks around for a few more years?
Can Drake continue to reinvent himself musically, eventually earning the All-Time Great status he's openly pined for?
Will we find out tonight?
I don't know. I don't care. I'm going to sing the shit out of "The Motto," though.
Drake performs tonight at Toyota Center. Sold out.
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