50 Years Of Billy Ray Cyrus: A Life In Haircuts
Today marks 50 fabulous years of William "Billy" Ray Cyrus, the man who gave us 1992's smash single "Achy Breaky Heart," and spawned from his loins naughty teen sensation Miley Cyrus, star of Disney sitcom Hannah Montana and secret folder on many men's hard drives. Her 2009 hit ""Party In The U.S.A." is quickly becoming the unofficial national anthem of the land, even two years after its release. Francis Scott Who?
When you think of Cyrus, or BRC as we will refer to him from here on out, one immediately thinks of the trademark mullet he sported when he first came on the scene in 1992, and for a brief shining moment held a tight grip on the world's line-dancing community. The hair, the vests, the oh-so-tight jeans, and that dangerous, mischievous grin all made for a bold image, and one that has followed him for 20 years now.
He still sings and even acts, co-starring on Montana with his daughter. Soon BRC will also be a grandfather, as his son Trace and his girlfriend Brenda Song, another Disney alum, announced that they are expecting. BRC has had a prosperous past few years, albeit fraught with family strife. It hasn't been all hearts and star-shine, though.
When Miley's drug use went viral, he took to GQ's pages to admit he was afraid for his family and daughter, and he and his wife Tennessee have had their own troubles, with tabloids swirling with accusations that she cheated on him with Poison's Bret Michaels. Ew, who just fucks Bret Michaels?
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Honestly, he doesn't look to have aged too badly these past two decades. Maybe it's plastic surgery, maybe it's all the smiling, or maybe he's a famepire, sucking the fame from his daughter Miley's aura (or neck) to keep himself young and beautiful We picked a few pictures of BRC through the years, and added commentary. Enjoy.
When we see this, all we hear in our heads is Motley Crue's "Dr. Feelgood" and we wanna run to the nearest country bar, like Wild West or Rebels on Washington and just tear holes into the sawdust, you guys.
Look at those puppydog Elvis eyes. It was as if an angel was telling him the seas were going to be getting rough. As he cradled young Miley, he never would have known she would have a tattoo under her tit and smoke fake weed. Cue "Butterfly Kisses"...
Relaxing + Chilling = Chillaxing. That's all the math you ever need to know.
He's like Jesus, if Jesus taught Wednesday night teen Bible study. "You know guys, I was so down and out that I was having beers with my dinner and my fingers smelled like pot all weekend. It's a struggle."
Good-guy biker with a dangerous past, backwoods bartender with a heart of gold, or doe-eyed widower raising four kids on his own. Pick your fantasy. We won't judge.
All you need to know is in those highlights. Let your body fill in the blanks.
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