A False Rumor Is Ruining My Life. Help!
Photo by Jeff Fitlow
Dear Willie D:
I live in a small town in Texas called Amherst, where everybody knows everybody. I got into a bit of drama with a group of girls because of a false rumor, and now no one wants to talk to me.
The population here is less than 1,000, so I can’t go anywhere without being shunned. Do you think I should try to work my way back into the circle, or move to a big city like Dallas or Houston?
Small Town Rumor:
I’m not a fan of running from problems, but if dealing with the rumor is too much to bear, move to a new town and get a fresh start. If it’s important for you to continue living in your small town and restoring your strained relationships, stay and give the rumor time to blow over. As long as you know what the truth is, who cares? Definitely not the people who love you and are important in your life.
The people who support you will be there for you, and the ones who don’t will believe the rumor because they want to. Rumors are in the mind of the beholder.
AM I WRONG FOR DITCHING JURY DUTY?
Dear Willie D:
I got dismissed on a sexual assault trial because during the voir dire, I told them I was a victim of sexual assault, and the defense dismissed me. The truth is, I have never been sexually assaulted, but I didn’t feel like sitting in court for several hours a day in a boring courtroom for $50 a day.
I make $200 a day on my job, so serving would have cost me somewhere around $2,000 for a two-week trial. I know people with no job at all who never get picked for jury trial. Why don’t they pick people for jury duty who aren’t doing anything with their life, instead of wasting the time of somebody like me who works five to six days a week?
I don’t know. But remember, lying to the court to dodge your civic duties is perjury. To that point, I would rather serve jury duty than time.
NO ONE WISHED ME A HAPPY BIRTHDAY
Dear Willie D:
My birthday came and went without anybody wishing me a happy birthday, except my friend at work. I feel lonely and insignificant. How do I get over this state of numbness?
Someone close to me just experienced this. It really sucks when those you love and support don’t take a moment to acknowledge your special day. At the risk of sounding naive, are you sure they knew? Birthdays are hard to remember, even if you live with the person whose birthday it is. If no one wished you a happy birthday, it’s probably because they didn’t know or they forgot.
If they didn’t know, tell them when it is so that next year they’ll know. If they forgot, charge it to their brain, not their heart. If you don’t have one, maybe you should get a Facebook account and add your friends and family. Facebook is true to sending notifications to remind users of their friends’ birthdays.
I’m pretty good at wishing those close to me a happy birthday. However, sometimes I forget. It doesn’t mean I don’t love them to death. It just means I forgot. Hold your head, and happy belated birthday!
MY HUSBAND WANTS ME TO THROW AWAY MY DECEASED MOM'S BELONGINGS
Dear Willie D:
My mom, who used to live with me and my husband, died ten years ago of pneumonia that she contracted from a bacterial infection. We now use her room for guests to sleep in overnight. However, her closet is just as she left it, full up to the hilt. It has all of her dresses, shoes, coats and hats in it.
My husband, who didn’t really get along with my mom, has been bugging me about cleaning her closet out ever since she died, but his cries have been getting louder over the past few weeks because his brother, who recently moved to town, is living with us temporarily until he can find work.
He wants me to give my mom’s clothes to charity, or throw them away. I feel as though doing either will disrespect my mom’s memory. Her clothes are classy, but they’re dated, like something Bette Davis would’ve worn.
I would feel more comfortable giving them away to someone I know, but I don’t know anyone who would want them who deserves them. Throwing her belongings away is not an option. Should I give them to charity, or wait for a proper new owner?
Seems like your refusal to clean out your mom’s closet is payback for your husband’s beef with your mom. Whether it is or isn’t, ten years is a long time for a disagreement, especially in a marriage.
Give the clothes to charity and move on.
Ask Willie D anything at willied.com/ask-willie-d, and come back next Thursday for more of his best answers.
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