Dan Deacon makes the phrase 'happy hardcore' make sense.
Dan Deacon makes the phrase 'happy hardcore' make sense.

A Guide to Being Cool

Sporting Trifles

Yankee Stadium blaring Basement Jaxx's “Where's Your Head At?” during JumboTron blooper reels.

Consider it the electro-house version of “Yakety Sax.”


rock critics' jargon

Macho Antics

Burger King announces a new “Start a fistfight at a Ben Folds/Boston Pops concert and get a free Whopper” promotion.

Have some onion rings while you're at it, you choad.

Transcendent Concert Experience

Watching a roomful of complete strangers go absolutely apeshit to the almost violently joyful noise-rock stylings of Dan Deacon.

The phrase “happy hardcore” actually makes sense for the first time ever.

Album of the Year This Week

Wishing you had access to technology that could digitally remove all the hokey vocals from Apparat's majestic Walls.

No talking during the movie, jerk-off.

Hilarious Rock-Critic Jargon

The very existence of the phrase “blog house.”

“It used to be Shithouse!”

Obscure Cinematic References

That's right, two shout-outs to the same Robin Hood: Men in Tights joke in six months.

Look up Men in Tights and Latrine on YouTube; it'll make sense, honest.

Wayward Remixes

Mims unveils “This Is Why I Rock.”

It may technically rock, but it sure as hell ain't hot.


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