A King's Course: Phonetic Spelling With KDOGG
Photo by Larami Serrano
I don't know how many rappers are on Twitter. A mathematician might guess it somewhere around "A FUCKING LOT." And plenty of them have been high-fived for any number of things, be it insight, humor or ratchetry. But when it comes to raw poetry, to unfiltered, sweaty swampland Tennessee Williams-levels of spelling ingenuity, no one is better than KDOGG.
His remastication of the English language is world class, a king's course in phonology, and is indicative of the type of creativity that has already peppered his songwriting early on in his career. So, fully embarrassed that he effortlessly oozes the type of originality that all writers covet, we reached across Twitter and asked him for some beginner terms.
First four below:
Word: Wna What Actual Words It Combines: "Want" and "To" Level Of Difficulty: 1.8/5 Used In A Sentence: "Man, these bitches need to hurry up. I wna leave already."
Asessment: You turned "want to" into "wanna," then eventually to "wana." Cowardice halted your evolution though. KDOGG squeezed blood from a stone. And he wasn't even trying.
Word: Fena Actual Words Combined: "Fixing" and "To" Level of Difficulty: 3.3/5 Used In A Sentence: "I'm fena go to the store. You want something?"
Assessment: Here is where we get to see a bit of KDOGG's brilliance. Where most have settled on "fitna" as a portmanteau of the aforementioned words, he mushes the slang together even more, blending it into a somehow more palatable coalescence of letters.
He doesn't even have time to hit the Caps Lock key after typing the K in his name, so fuck your unnecessary consonants.
Word: Allez What Actual Words It Combines: "All" and "These" Level Of Difficulty: 3.6/5 Used In A Sentence: "I'm saying, allez hoes in here and you can't get laid?"
Assessment: "Human being to the mob. What's a mob to a king? What's a king to a God? And what's a God to a KDOGG?" That's how that song should've gone.
Word: Aineem What Actual Words It Combines: "Ain't" and "Even Level Of Difficulty: 4.4/5 Used In A Sentence: "Finished? We aineem gotten started."
Assessment: Anyone can cut up some words and junk them together. Anyone. Eneywon (see?). But what makes KDOGGs reimagining's so aces is that they're completely natural and reflexive. You read them slowly, in your brain at first and then mouthing them and then finally at a whisper at your desk or where ever you're sitting while you thumb through Twitter on your phone.
Your tongue figures out what's happening way before you brain does. And when your brain finally does catch up, it's always, "HOLY FUCK WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THAT?!"
Follow KDOGG on Twitter at @KDOGG_BNFA.
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