Tuesday, Rocks Off was a busy beaver keeping up with all the concert announcements coming over the wire. Along with the Fitzgerald's news, it was hard to keep up with everything going on. Interpol, Stone Temple Pilots, Drake, and Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros all announced dates in Houston.
But as many things that we get in town, tons of shows still never make it here. We are still waiting for word on that Mastodon and Deftones headlining tour, and Ozzy is probably coming in the late fall. Sadly, we aren't holding our royal collective breaths for either of those though.
A recent epidemic we have noticed is publicists sending mass e-mail blasts claiming the band they rep is going on a "national" tour with 15 scattered dates, maybe hitting Milwaukee or Phoenix, but no Texas dates. Or, should we say, no Houston dates, because for some reason the state, if not the world, does not in fact revolve around us.
To be fair, most "national" tours that short also skip Austin and Dallas. Most of the time.
Pavement bypassing Houston on its "national" tour isn't a total washout for us. Why is that? Hearing Houston hipsters moan about how expensive the tickets are and the beer prices at (insert venue here) would be enough grief to kill a man. Luckily, they are playing Austin so everyone from Houston can at least get their freak on and weep on Red River when it's over.
As one of the largest states in the union, you would think that "national" would also entail a Texas show. Last week nerdcore pioneers Devo claimed they were going on a national tour - which amounted a handful of festival dates, including Lollapalooza. We know the Spuds are pushing 60, but cut Houston some slack. We have the Judy's, and Devo loved the Judy's. You probably even stole from the Judy's.
It's not just huge bands like Devo that blast Rocks Off with e-mails like this. Smaller bands and their publicists trump up six-date California tours as large-scale treks. Maybe for them a drive from San Francisco to Los Angeles is a big deal, but not for someone in Houston unless the tour is coming within a 30-mile radius.
The best part is having a PR person want us to publicize the fact that their client is going on a tour almost 1,000 miles away from where we are. We would like to think that someone in Augusta, Georgia, is reading Rocks Off on a daily basis for concert news in their area, but we don't have that much sway yet.
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Even better is getting a tour announcement e-mail from a band you really like, only to see that at the end of the tour, when most bands trudge through Texas before heading home, they skip Houston for San Antonio. Meanwhile some bands we are happy to not have coming to town, like Wavves. But Sharon Jones & The Dap-Kings hurts us in our heart.
It's like getting a perfumed Valentine's Day card in sixth grade from a girl you really like, only to find out is supposed to be for the kid in the front of the class wearing the new Adidas. In this instance Dallas is the snotty kid with the shell-toes on.
Just as we were typing that last paragraph, Texas metal-lords the Sword announced a new tour under the header "The Sword Plot Global Domination With World Tour."
Welp, Sword have fun dominating California, Oregon, Washington, North Carolina, New York, Pennsylvania, Ohio, West Virginia, and Massachusetts. We'll just sit here until you come back home.