Amazon's Funniest One-Star Classic Album Reviews
As a music writer, it can be beneficial to seek out other music reviews to see what people are thinking, aficionados and trolls alike. Let's look at Amazon, a popular site where I admit I've spent a bit of money and time. You can find anything here, down to your most basic grocery-shopping needs.
As with all other comment sections, really, Amazon's consumer reviews can be deafening. These critics have opinions that they absolutely have to defend, or else they just want attention. Others just get really excited sharing their naysaying opinions, and sites like Amazon provide a wide audience. Today we thought we'd help widen some of these reviewers' audiences (hopefully alongside our own) with a top-notch, annotated selection of Amazon's one-star album reviewers.
Let It Be, The Beatles
Harry Ballzak, you are terrible.
OK Computer, Radiohead
How intolerable, unbearable and overweening.
Damita Jo listening to the wrong kind of music
The Bends, Radiohead
Here's more on Radiohead. This one's by Ben from the kornfields.
Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, Wilco
I'll tell you, Kelsey "Music and Entertainment Critic."
In Utero, Nirvana
"It's like Hanson on Acid."
The Queen Is Dead, The Smiths
Kelsey strikes again!
Electric Warrior, T. Rex
"Peace out you crack fiends."
Story continues on the next page.
American Beauty, Grateful Dead
This cat just isn't a hippie!
Greatest Hits, Fleetwood Mac
This one makes me laugh because it actually somewhat hits home on how I discovered Fleetwood Mac. I remember hearing "Dreams" wherever Sunny 99.1 was playing, then later grew to appreciate Fleetwood Mac. That's my review.
The College Dropout, Kanye West
He's an angry music fan.
Daydream Nation, Sonic Youth
Oh, well, that's always nice.
Elephant, The White Stripes
Boo! I love Meg White. Also, despite what I've said in the past, I still have some kind of love for Jack White. I might actually melt if I get to meet him at Summer Fest, admittedly.
Surfer Rosa, Pixies
You, abettertomorrow, are wrong, and a downer.
Dookie, Green Day
And these were the true musical origins.
ROCKS OFF'S GREATEST HITS
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