An Objective Review Of The Justin Bieber Singing Toothbrush
Brushing your teeth is important. Poor oral hygiene is gross, and has been linked to heart disease in addition to tooth loss.
Dentists recommend brushing twice a day with a good brush at a leisurely pace to ensure you do a thorough job. Singer Justin Bieber is here to do his part to keep your smile nice and white.
Behold the glory of the Justin Bieber Singing Toothbrush. In the past, Rocks Off has tackled music's most effed-up grills, so it seemed only fitting that we try and spread the word to combat it.
Though most of us would rather make music like the Pogues, only an idiot would want Shane McGowan's hideous grin over the flawless glory of Bieber's pearly whites. Ergo, the toothbrush should be worthy of such toothsome perfection, right?
Mas Musica! featuring La Gusana Ciega, Porter, Siddhartha
TicketsSun., Oct. 2, 6:00pm
Nothing But Thieves presented by Ones To Watch
TicketsSun., Oct. 2, 7:00pm
Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats
TicketsMon., Oct. 3, 7:00pm
THALIA - Latina Love Tour
TicketsMon., Oct. 3, 8:00pm
TicketsTue., Oct. 4, 7:00pm
For $9.95, the brush comes with batteries, a detachable and replaceable head, and plays two-minute clips of two Bieber songs. Each song is helpfully labeled as a morning or night tune, because you wouldn't want to get all riled up in the evening with "Love Me" when you could ease into slumber with "Somebody to Love."
The principle behind the brush is actually pretty sound. The night and day options could possibly encourage brushers to indulge in the singing toothbrush twice a day as recommended.
The two-minute duration is also helpful an ensuring that you brush for the proper duration. We were surprised at how much longer you are actually supposed to spend on oral hygiene after playing the songs during brushing.
Also, the head on the brush is definitely not fucking around. It's soft enough to not irritate your gums, but firm enough to really get in there and clean up. If you've spent your whole life using cheap brushes with dollar store bristles, then something a bit more high-caliber will be an eye-opener.
That being said, the Justin Bieber Singing Toothbrush is not without its flaws.
First off, the brush comes apart if you look at it funny. The head, body, and battery compartment have no snaps or tabs. They just slide together, and the damn thing fell apart twice while we were using it.
Then there's the singing feature, which other than collecting every piece of Bieber memorabilia is the only reason to buy the brush.
As you probably guessed, the speaker quality is absolutely terrible. It's impossible to make out the song... though to be fair that might just be us. Even more ridiculous, your hand goes right over the speaker while brushing, muffling the sound even worse.
In conclusion, if you'd rather spend $10 on a toothbrush endorsed by Justin Bieber that will clean your teeth like gangbusters while trying to fall apart and blasting out tinny versions of the Biebs pop hits than, say, on a book that will totally change your life, then go right ahead.
We all need clean teeth, and while pricier than your average toothbrush it at least does good work. If you want to pretend that Justin Bieber himself serenades you every morning when you attend your toilet, this product will aid that fantasy.
On a scale of one to ten, Rocks Off gives it a six.
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