I’m Jealous of My Ex. Help!
Photo by Jeff Fitlow
Dear Willie D:
I don’t have any friends that I can talk to about this. Next month I’ll be 42 years old. I’m divorced since 2014, and I don’t have any kids. My annual salary is 46K. My ex (not wife) whom I broke up with in January, has a new job that pays her over 120K per year.
She is always on Facebook flaunting her lifestyle. Every time she buys a new purse, shoes, or go on a trip, she brags about it. I feel as though she is rubbing her success in my face because she’ll make a post boasting about how she only dates men with money. I could block her and be done with it, but deep down I’m hoping we get back together.
Please help me by offering some logical advice?
Get off Facebook and stop worrying about what your ex is posting. She has made it clear that she only dates men with money. 46K a year doesn’t sound like much money, when she makes almost three times that amount.
What you’re feeling after a failed relationship is perfectly normal, so respect the process and move on. You don’t break up because you stop loving the person, you break up because you have different views on relationships.
MY FRIEND WON'T DO ANYTHING UNLESS IT'S ON HER TERMS
Dear Willie D:
It frustrates me that my friend always wants everything to be on her terms. It doesn’t matter what’s going on. From what restaurant we eat at to going thrifting, it has to be on her terms. If we go to the movies it has to be when it’s convenient for her.
I have to go at weird times that’s conducive to her schedule, like immediately after work in rush-hour traffic, or on a Saturday in the daytime when I’m usually doing something with my daughter. I’m second-guessing our friendship. I would like to get an objective viewpoint, please?
Tell your “friend” how you feel. If she doesn’t make adjustments, dump her. Real friends compromise, respect, and make time for each other. Your friend is selfish and inconsiderate. That’s a one-sided deal that benefits her, but leaves you emotionally bankrupt.
WHY DO I OVERANALYZE EVERYTHING?
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Dear Willie D:
The probability of me being in a long-term relationship is super-low due to my nature of overanalyzing things. I can’t help it. I hardly get anything done on a day-to-day because I do more thinking about what I’m going to do than actually doing it. This is because I’m always thinking of what may or may not occur.
It’s hard for me to take things at face value because I tend to assume and jump to conclusions a lot. Through the years, overanalyzing has cost me both platonic and romantic relationships. Even when the characters are speaking my language, I’m always trying to read the closed-caption while everyone else is watching the movie.
How do I stop overanalyzing? It’s driving me crazy!
People tend to overanalyze that which they are uncertain of. Once you realize that it’s okay to not try to resolve everything, and eliminate uncertainty from your relationships and future events, worrying will recede.
When in doubt, let go and let God.
DO CELEBRITIES REALLY GIVE AWAY VEHICLES TO FANS?
Dear Willie D:
When these celebrities get on Facebook and say share and post, you could get a chance to win a new vehicle is this true? Like, does anyone ever win? To me, the ones that do win things is always the ones that don’t need it, instead of the lower income people like myself that could really use!
I was just curious. You would be cool as ever to answer it.
I guess it would depend on the celebrity, and what kind of vehicle it is. If Dr. Dre posted on his official website that he was giving away a brand-new Mercedes, one might tend to believe it’s legit. But if Lil Boobie, who works out of the makeshift studio in the back of Dave’s Fix-A-Flat and lives in his mom’s basement, said he was giving one away, I would need to see some paperwork, preferably check stubs and tax returns.
It’s not that I don’t trust Lil Boobie. Okay, well maybe it is.
Ask Willie D anything at willied.com/ask-willie-d, and come back next Thursday for more of his best answers.
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