Come on Astros, we can do this. We are now 0-7 for 2010, and we are the best team in baseball when it comes to losing. A sick part of us wants you to lose as many games as you can, because then we can use your losing as an excuse to become full-time Rangers fans. Just kidding, but don't tempt us.
You are now a glorified JV softball team, and the whole nation is laughing at us. Rocks Off loves all of you, and we are only doing this because we do in fact have a sweet spot in our hearts for you rag-tag bastards.
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Please dear God in Heaven, let us win a game.