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Pop Life

Bedtime Stories: The Naughtiest Madonna Videos Ever (Semi-NSFW)

This weekend, the grand dame of American pop music, Madonna, will grace the halftime stage at Super Bowl XLVI. This is a major improvement from last year's more-inhuman-than-human Black Eyed Peas performance, which tested the resolve our country, and even the world. But we all survived. Who won the game anyway?

Madonna comes into this performance with a new single, the Nicki Minaj and M.I.A. assisted "Gimme All Your Luvin," a song they collaborated for Madge's upcoming MDNA album, set for release on March 26. Nothing could go wrong with those two, right? A foul-mouthed Barbie and a politically-charged female rapper on live worldwide television? Everything should be cool.

I had the arduous task of culling together Madonna's most sexual and boundary-obliterating music videos. I hadn't realized how smutty that her videos, for about a ten-year period, before she had kids and sorta found religion. Hopefully on Sunday evening she will get to show a bit of that side of her, becuase even at 53 years old, and those arms, she is still pretty foxy.

I never got to watch the whole of these videos because a lot times my folks were in the room, and out of embarrassment -- and awkward pubescent boners -- I would change the channel. If I can't be honest with you, who can I be honest with?

"Take A Bow"

Personally, I like the part where she rubs her breasts on the television set and writhes on the bed in bra, panties, and stockings, but that's just me. I kind of have a fetish for half-naked blonde women.

"Erotica"

Now 20 years old, this clip for the title off 1992's Erotica showcased Madonna as a dominatrix cavorting with Naomi Campbell, Isabella Rossellini, and Big Daddy Kane. Rarely had S/M culture been thrust onto MTV and American homes with such a force.

Madonna is more than likely responsible for the upward tick in sales of leashes and whips. This video also features scenes from the nude roadside photo shoot that this poster would come from. Why I never bough this poster at Soundwaves when I had the chance is beyond me.

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Craig Hlavaty
Contact: Craig Hlavaty