A few days ago, Beyonce was texting while driving, which is not only dangerous but now actually against the law in most places. One of those places happens to be New York City, where she was pulled over by the police and given a ticket for the aforementioned digital-age misdemeanor.
What was so important that she couldn't wait until she'd finished her drive to text? As luck would have it, Rocks Off has been granted access to the contents of Beyonce's inbox and outbox, and... okay, that's not even remotely true, but we can pretend, can't we?
To: Twitter Any of y'all know a good Tex-Mex place in NYC? The closer to 57th St the better. I miss Houston like crazy, freal.
To: Shawn Carter Baby, you may have to come get me, I am lost as hell, LOL!
From: Solange Knowles You lookin for tex mex in NYC? For real? How many times you been there, girl? You ought to know better!
To: Solange Knowles LOL I can't help it, I need some good flautas! Ohshit, I think I'm getting pulled over
From: Solange Knowles It's cuz you on your damn phone, Bebe! Oprah's gonna be pissed at you!
From: Shawn Carter Just keep heading north, text me when you get to Central Park.
To: Shawn Carter I'll just ask this policeman for directions.
To: Mathew Knowles I got pulled over! :( What do I do?
To: Twitter I'm getting pulled over by NYPD! Is texting while driving really illegal? :(
From: New York City Police Department Ma'am, please put down the phone and roll down your window. Also, turn down your radio, I've been talking to you over my intercom for at least five minutes.
To: New York City Police Department OMG I'm so sorry!!! I'll do it right now!
From: Shawn Carter Policeman?? What the hell???
From: Mathew Knowles Just do what they say! It's New York, baby girl, not Vidor, you're going to be fine.
From: Stefani Germanotta Hey, will you be able to stop by either of my shows in Houston? It would be really cool to have you come out and do "Telephone" with me :)
From: Justin Timberlake Saw on Twitter u got pulled over. I always knew u were crazy! Call me if u need bail!
From: Shawn Carter Baby, you there? Everything OK???
From: Larry King One of my interns told me you got pulled over. $100,000 for the first interview. Let me know.
From: Perez Hilton LOLing @ your misfortune! CHRIST I HATE FAMOUS PEOPLE!!!!!
To: Mathew Knowles, Shawn Carter, Solange Knowles I'm fine, y'all, it was no big deal. $100 ticket! :(
To: Twitter I just got pulled over! Officer had no idea who I was. I tried to flirt w him, but he didn't care. Maybe he's from Greenwich Village?
From: Shawn Carter Everything go OK? He didn't touch you, did he? I swear to god I'll burn this motherfucker down if he touched you.
To: Shawn Carter Relax, baby, he was very polite. It's just a ticket. :)
From: Mathew Knowles Well I think you can cover that with your own money, don't you? :)
From: Stefani Germanotta Never mind, I think I'm just going to duet with a huge inflatable dildo. Thanks anyway!
From: Shawn Carter Aight then. If you don't mind, I'd like to write a song about this. Cool?
From: Solange Knowles Girl, Jordin Sparks just tweeted that she got pulled over. This bitch has to do everything you do, huh?
To: Solange Knowles No kidding! Maybe I'll jump off a bridge next.
From: Kelly Rowland Hey, if you need money to pay the fine, I'm up for another DC tour. Let me know!
To: Kelly Rowland I'll think about it.
From: Kelly Rowland $$$$$!!! Amirite? :)
To: Solange Knowles Kelly's still bugging me about doing Destiny's Child again. I'm like, I'll do it when I wanna do it, damn! >:(
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From: Solange Knowles Please tell me you stopped somewhere and you're not still texting while you're driving.
To: Solange Knowles Um... yes?
From: Solange Knowles "Yes" WHAT?
To: Solange Knowles G2G!