Despite what you may have heard, swag isn't dead yet; at least not in Houston. Have any swagged-out projects or general ideas? E-mail email@example.com.
This week in Houston (sweltering) swag, Rocks Off is going to stick to the old-fashioned basic news structure, starting on the negative side of the Swagometer and ending in the positive integers.
A local promoter and DJ has been getting some negative attention on the Internet over the past few days from an adversary who's apparently out to publicly defame him. We first noticed the post about him on Facebook, and the next day saw the same post (with his work details) on a Houston message board.
Swagometer: -5. It's one thing to post relevant information that pertains to someone's career or their integrity,. It's quite another to publicly share decade-old information in the hopes that it destroys a person's reputation and career because of your own personal resentment. This Internet shit is crazy, yo. Watch out, people.
Now that we've gotten that off our chests, we'd like to discuss a recent discovery Rocks Off made while perusing the same message board where we discovered the cyber-bullying, www.cityofsyrup.com. Go there and turn your speakers up. It's the City of Houston official Web site, except it's now complete with a trill H-town accompaniment including some Big Moe.
Swagometer: 7. It makes local government a tad more appealing, and we can't help but giggle while looking at pictures of Annise Parker and council members smiling in their penguin suits as "Bang Screw" plays.
We're kind of late, but we had to include this video on the meter. Skruncha-Roo is the instrumental project of Kyle Vento, half of the production duo Simple Success. The video for his first track, "Deer and I," was directed by Andrew Benavides. We've been listening to it for a month now, while writing down some rhymes about Rick Perry and the film Flubber that we'll never get to use.
Rebecca Black is getting bullied, y'all. Can you even believe it? Yeah, people at her middle school started asking her if she knew what day it was and imitated her song "all nasally," so she had to be pulled out of school.
Swagometer: 2. We have a message for Miss Black: That's not bullying, that's money. Most 14-year-olds have to worry about people bullying them for things like acne outbreaks, clothes, body odor and weight. Go back to school, stay there, and don't encourage any more precious children to strive to become YouTube sensations who spend the rest of their lives trying to live down a day of the week. It's too late for people like us at Rocks Off; we can't be lawyers - sometimes not even law-abiding citizens [Ed. Note: We have no idea what she's talking about] - but there's still hope for you!
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Ganksta NIP is a rapper from South Park who has been part of the South Park Coalition since 1987. His debut album, The South Park Psycho, helped the SPC gain some notoriety because of its mass distribution through Rap-A-Lot Records. Now that you have the background info, peep this video of NIP beating someone's ass for trying to steal a CD.
Swagometer: Off the charts: Psycho swag, SPC swag, no interval swag.